Positive Job Update!

Today God provided David with a way out of UPS! His work there, mainly for the last 3 years in a supervisory role, has been just short of psychological torture. I'd rather not go into details here, but let me just say this: Don't become a front-line supervisor at UPS Worldport.

Moving on! David will now be working at the local Amazon.com fulfillment center right near us in our home town! He'll still be working third shift and will still also work at Sacred Heart Model School as their After School Care Director. He'll have to drop one of the two seminary classes he's taking this semester. He'll probably get in pretty good shape and get to grow his goatee back :) Those are the least of the perks of course. We will save big on gas money and wear and tear on our car, and he'll get a 3 day weekend, at least from Amazon. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm fully aware that our new schedule we be just as crazy as it always has been! (See my recent post about this) But it will be a lot less stressful in some very important ways. 

Practically, his new schedule fleshes out to be about 5 more hours of work a week. I know... More hours! For now, he'll be gone the entire evenings of tuesday through friday starting next week. When he came home from the interview today to ask me before accepting the position, it was hard for me to say yes... but not that hard. 

When you have a family you all have to make sacrifices. It's just what we have to do to get by, and there's no other way to do it right now. For this season I'm giving up the evenings we've had together and replacing them with lunches together, but only four days a week. Carson's nap will start later, around 1 now. Further, instead of about an hour and a half round-trip commute to UPS for David, that time will be spent working at a place only 10 minutes from our house. Also, this job is full-time. UPS never was, and it is very difficult to get full-time employment where he was at. At Amazon, he could easily be promoted and make enough to only have to work ONE JOB to make enough. We're teaming up to do this for our mental health. Ironic, I know.

Needless to say, I'd love to have friends over in the evenings now! Especially for dinner or play dates for the kids. 


 

Happy News

I thought it would be interesting to read later on what all my thoughts were in the first 4 hours of finding out we are having our 2nd child (in chronological order):

-(looking at the two positive pregnancy tests with Carson complaining in the background because I left him alone for 1 minute) Oh snap. Too late to prevent this (as in I wasn't sure if I was ready)
-*tears of joy*
-Woohoo!!!
-Tell Carson he's gonna be a big brother! give him hugs and kisses.
-There's a little heart beating inside of me!
-Make a sign to surprise David when he pulls into the driveway in 5 minutes. (sign said, "Dec. 2013 <3")
-Oh yay I get to make that 2nd child announcement shirt I saw in Pinterest! (Only Child, expires such-and-such date)
-Oops! better feed Carson. Hands shaking in excitement, too excited to decide what to feed him! shaking too much to buckle his high chair! Just give him cheerios for now.
-*David sprints inside and we hug and cry*
-Call parents! grandparents! siblings! close friends! Can't wait to tell them!
-Oh yeah... a two year old and a newborn - LOL.
-We really need some more cloth diapers!
-Lots of texting and calling!
-So excited I'm queasy. That Ham and Bean soup suddenly doesn't smell so good. It's all in my head.
-Lets discuss what we want to do about some things - I'd like to keep the name to ourselves until he/she is born.
-Operation VBAC - eek!
-Yay! now we have extra motivation to get the basement back in order!
-Children are such a blessing from the Lord. He has truly blessed us with another.
-Praying I don't miscarry, but trusting that this child is in His hands whether in my womb or in heaven!
-Wondering how many kids we will have in total some day, and when/if we can adopt.
-God is making my heart bigger.
-I want toast.
-Now I can put the impossible venture for flat abs on hold for at least another year :)
-Yay!

Please don't say anything on FB yet :)

Perseverance

Paul's letter to the church in Corinth, a part of chapter 3:

For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. ¹² If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, ¹³ their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. ¹⁴ If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. ¹⁵ If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.

 For most of my Christian life (which started this month in 2001!) I've been surrounded by a large group of like-minded believers, but now I'm in a phase where all of that is being "revealed with fire". It's been kind of hard to see people getting confused about who Jesus is, or what authority they are willing to give (or not give) to the Bible in their lives, or wanting to be more like the culture than anything else, etc. when just years earlier, we had been worshiping Christ in the same throng, raising our hands in praise or talking about Jesus together in a Bible study, or serving together in some sort of ministry.

God's word is clear that this kind of apostasy happens. He says that there are four kinds of ways that seeds grow. They are either snatched up before they get into the soil (Satan takes away God's word), they make shallow root and dry up in the sun (they receive God's word, but forsake it when testing or adversity comes), they grow but are choked up by thorns (love of the world takes precedence) or they grow and yield tons of fruit (a healthy growing Christian). I guess some of these things are happening to these people I've known. Instead of letting their betrayal discourage me or make me doubt if I'm doing the right thing, I need to keep seeking God. I've been trying to do that.

The hard part is, lately it just seems like the betrayal of faith is increasing, or just all being shown to me at once. Or maybe it's just that people who leave Christ can easily boast about what they do, whereas Christian "boasts" sound so self-righteous. So many people aren't sure what they believe anymore, or don't know Jesus or want to have anything to do with him, and some are people that I love dearly!!! I won't give up on my faith in Christ. 

More than ever, I know that my faith does not depend on any other person or family member or preacher or establishment (even my husband, though he believes in Jesus). People love to blame Christians and their establishments for horrible things, but God is above all reproach. Let them try and accuse him of wrong, but he will only laugh at them.

Someday all will be revealed and all will be made right. But for now I wait for
"the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ" Titus 2:13. And I walk by faith, not by sight.

Downton Abbey Season 3 (revised post)

Oh. my. word. 

I just finished Downton Abbey season three, because my mom, who has a special membership with PBS, got me the DVDs for Christmas. So of course I finished the season within 2 days! (I was also sick, so I had time to lay around ;) )

Since I don't want to spoil it for my friends, I will use words to describe how I feel. 

UGH. Frustrated. Shocked. 

None of those above words are shocking because, well, it's Downton Abbey. They always want to shock. :P

A TV show is a TV show, and I was thankful to see a real life sunset tonight, knowing that real life is much different than Downton Abbey.

I will say, they have changed some of the characters' personalities. They have an agenda to communicate, so they made Carson and Lord Grantham more intolerant and bigoted to prove their point. People love having bigots to scowl upon, because it always makes someone feel good to have someone else to look down on!

But both Carson and Lord Grantham, from the beginning of Downton, were kind, sweet and fatherly. Now they are harsh and cold-hearted, at least much of the screen time. Suddenly upholding even the most minute of traditions is more important that kindness. This was not the case at first. I hate that they sacrificed the fatherly figures of the show just to make a social point. And it doesn't make the point for me, sorry! It only muddles social issues and makes them more messy. 

However, that change is the only thing I didn't like about the season! I love how redemptive the show is as a whole. Each character goes through a kind of personal redemption (without naming Christ of course). The most inspiring redemptive story for me was Mary's story through seasons 1 and 2.  

And when it comes to tolerance, I will say that they made a great point about it when Thomas makes a new friend (not 'lover') at the end of Season 3. Bravo for that. It makes a point that all evangelicals I think mean at heart: that though we disagree with any immoral actions, showing general kindness to others is one way we desire show Christ's love. Yes, Christ's love has a tough side. A very tough side. But He's God and we're not. :)

Funny snapshots of Carson's toddlerhood

Eating like a champ...

...until Mommy keeps me waiting 3 seconds too long!!!

I make beautiful photo albums of Carson's sweet and quiet spirit

Clears everything off of the box

Clears everything off of the couch

Knocks over the drying rack

"Outta my way"

Drying rack fail #2 (why did I even try?)

Carson usually is pretty sweet, I promise :)

Milestones

Today my precious son made big leaps in his development! First, he stood up without holding on to anything for 5 to 10 seconds. That caught me by surprise! Second, he said "UhhhhDuh" ("all done") in conjunction with finishing a meal, which I have said/signed to him for months now with no response!

Weaning

I promise I won't get graphic in this entry. I just wanted to type some thoughts on the subject of weaning.

I determined ahead of time that I would wean Carson as he was turning one. I was also determined to flout the idea of "Being Mom Enough" to breastfeed until they start Kindergarten, acting in defiance of the idea that motherhood is defined by what goes into a person rather than what comes out of the heart...

... which I still stand by with great zeal. But I am no where close to weaning Carson, for many various reasons...

I've read all the views on everything I wrote above, and I've made up my mind, and I know what kind of criticism my views can draw, and I don't really care... I don't have any other moms hovering around me telling me how to parent, though I get the impression that some ladies would love to do just that, and it scares me. [BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU]

The bigger issue here is not the debate over when to wean, but just the fact that whether I like it or not, my little guy is quickly becoming a toddler. I have to establish boundaries for his safety (and mine) and enforce them. He eats solid food and will learn how to walk soon! He just recently learned to be content in the church nursery without me there.

And that's what weaning is all about, growing up! that's the goal of parenting, to raise an adult! Kinda scary...

In college about 6 or 7 years ago I was struggling to understand issues and who God is, and in a state of turmoil I stumbled upon this psalm which pacified my soul completely...

Psalm 131 - a psalm of ascents. Of David.

1 My hear is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; / I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.

2 But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.

3 Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore.

The psalm is so loaded with history and imagery and culture that I can't explain here, but verse 2 is absolutely amazing. The image of a weaned child with its mother has taken on new meaning in this stage of life, but it so perfectly expresses the kind of contentment that comes from humility and a sober view that He is God and I am not. 

Thus the mystery of growing up fast remains and it remains in God's hand.

 

 

New sippy cup

There is nothing so nice as a new, not-scratched, non-leaking and shiny sippy cup. Well Carson had been used to his old sippy cup with a handle on each side, so when I gave him this new one he didn't know how to drink out of it!

hmm... maybe it will just go into my mouth.

Come here!!

 I started to laugh out loud at him, and he thought that was funny! :)

 

 Then I helped him drink from it

He got it!

 

I'm so amazed how quickly Carson has grown up. In 8 days he'll be 1 year old!

Missionary friends and Christian friends

Today we were so blessed to be visited by our friends Kristie and Boing (Cristian Boingeanu) who are in the States for a time. They do camp ministry in Romania. Boing is Romanian and Kristie is American! I knew Kristie as a close friend from my Moody days. 

When they pulled into our driveway I was pumped, and gave our baby in desperate need of a diaper change to my loving husband so that I could run toward Kristie and get a HUGE hug. We were so happy to see each other! 

Awesome mug and prayer card from them

Being with Kristie again instantly transported me back to the times I had at Moody - times of honesty, love and tears with close girlfriends who loved the Lord. We prayed for each other, spent life together, served others together, worshiped Christ together in chapel. I spent many hours in Kristie and Anne's room just hanging out and sometimes praying. 

I miss those days. Never have I lived in a community with such openness where I felt so safe to be myself. Granted, it took courage to participate in other's lives and share my heart. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to be vulnerable outside of environments like this. Or it takes a particularly painful trial to shock you out of selfishness. 

One or the other, vulnerability is hard to come by and seems to be rarely received with compassion out in the not-so-real "real world" that I apparently live in. I mean, it has been months since I have seem most of my neighbors. Months! I actually wonder if some of them have been away all that time. I even knocked on their doors for help with the aforementioned weed whacker (as some of my neighbors are pretty in to their weed whackers and their yards look amazing) and no one came to the door though their cars were there. It took guts for me to knock, and no one came. That doesn't make me want to try it again, but as Jesus would have it, I probably will. :)

Anyway, seeing Kristie again was bittersweet - I won't see her and Boing again for another year, I will miss their Romania wedding, and it opened up wounds I have now of missing seeking the Lord with those girls. It was sweet to laugh again with her, and see her glowing face with her fiance! 

Why is it that, even (or especially) in the seminary/church community, people's talk (especially busy moms like myself) is limited to small talk, to the same few subjects: work, kids, groceries, whatever...? Why is it so hard to say "God is teaching me this" or to say "Let's pray about this now"? Why don't we ever ask "How are you really doing?" Or "How is your marriage going?" Or to even confess our sins to one another as it says in James 5? I'm telling you, when we did this at Moody God's Spirit was free to move in our hearts and convict and change. But here I feel stagnant and like I'm becoming more like a Pharisee every day. It makes me discontent, but may that discontent be from the Lord and not from my own deceitful heart. May it cause change instead of cynicism. 

Will you join me in praying for revival? 

This week's highlights!

from despair.com

Sunday was great. It's our big church day, and I got to be in the nursery. It was recently remodeled and it is much bigger and better!

Monday was great when David gave me a 2.5 hr baby break. I went thrifting and to a coffee shop to read.
Tuesday was the election and we were on pins and needles! Then I woke up Wednesday morning disappointed. I didn't vote for the guy who spends money we don't have.

On wednesday I taught my two piano students like normal, and made this amazing crockpot country-style bbq rib recipe. 

But it burned, and the temperature dial cracked in half and fell off the crockpot. :(


Thursday night we discovered the best flea market I've ever been to, right in our hometown. Between that, Goodwill, and Once Upon a Child, I may never buy anything new again! I also watched the Prestons for a bit, which is always ALWAYS fun.

Carson had a lot of fun, and Tessa wasn't sure what to think of him.

Then on friday we got to watch Tessa so that the Jenkins' could close on their house :) That isn't the greatest picture, but if you want to see some great photography from Tessa's mom, one of the up-and-coming Louisville photographers, then click here: kara delaine photography 

That night we watched The Amazing Spiderman which I got for $.80 (score!) I call it "hipster spider man" and the movie was pretty good.

I loved listening to In the Market with Janet Parshall during this election week. Here's a link about it. She is an awesome and incredibly informed and experienced commentator. And she certainly has connections in "high places" while still remaining true to the Bible. 

One of the most frustrating things this week was trying to thred the trimming line in our weed wacker. The instruction booklet just didn't do the trick! Carson sure enjoyed crawling around the yard while I fiddled with that stupid contraption. 

One of the most exhilarating things this week was laughing and goofing off with my husband. 

HAPPY SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Update Fall 2012

This week has been a little eventful for us... I got a(nother) part time job cleaning with a homemaker in St. Matthews. I already teach piano to two adorable kids :) I've also been working on our budget and we've decided to make some cuts to our bills and be a little more strict with it. We want to try and save up!

David has a cough/chest infection that has been hanging on for almost 4 weeks now, but the Dr. at the seminary gave him some steroids and other drugs and he's doing better! We're also excited that after this semester he'll have only 9 credits left before he graduates. His jobs are going well. He's pretty used to working third shift after doing it for almost 4 years now! Our dilemma is how to make this end. He's working on tests and paperwork at UPS to possible get another promotion someday. But we aren't super crazy about UPS, you know? : /

Our little guy is everywhere and unless I put him in a pack'n'play, it's hard to leave him for more than 10 seconds. He doesn't like playing in a play pen, so it's hard for me to want to hear him fuss at me while I do some housework. I guess he's gonna have to learn to be okay with it at times. I hear that moms with messier houses have happier kids. I need to get a sign that says, "Pardon our mess, memory making in progress" or something.

source: http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61pj2AwNMzL._SL1000_.jpg

I've been asked handful of times when we will have another kid, and it's been on our minds, but we really don't know. Right now wouldn't be the greatest time, especially if we make it a family goal to find a better job for David.

To be continued...

crazy moment

As a junior high girl I remember walking the the end of the block in my nice upper-middle-class neighborhood to catch the bus to school. We (the neighbors I had known for most of my life) would hang out there for a few minutes, usually standing in awkward silence, but sometimes talking. I remember getting dressed up for school spirit days, or dragging my heavy backpack or old flute case along with me. Those were good times and very formative years. I had almost no responsibilities and spent a lot of time with my friends.

The other morning I was walking down our front steps to the car and putting Carson in his carseat to go to Meijer and get a few groceries. I looked up over the roof of our little Kia and there was a group of 4 or 5 junior highers waiting for the bus. We have a corner lot, so they wait right on the edge of our yard. It was early in the morning, and they were standing there in awkward silence.

It just hit me. About 13 years ago, that was me! Weird.

exciting/sad

Since Carson is napping and I have chicken on the stove, I thought it would be a good moment to think of the pros and cons of our moving across the River in May. But instead of it being a pro/con list it's an exciting/sad list.

Exciting:

-much more space

-our own yard/garden

-living by church friends

-living very close to Aldi

-owning a home

-room for more kids

-settling down for at least 9 yrs

-my work as homemaker expanding!

Sad:

-moving further away from my friends in Louisville

-leaving behind our first apartment

-being totally unfamiliar with our surroundings

-settling far away from our families for a while

-having to go up/down stairs hundreds of times a day (this should be on the exciting list, shouldn't it?)

-not living next door to other moms with infants

-making new friends will happen less

-we will be stuck there rain or shine

change

I don't like change anymore. In college and high school I loved going new places and being busy all the time. But since marriage I love being settled down, doing a routine and having a place for everything and everything in its place. I even watch the same movies and TV shows over and over rather than watch new ones.

Don't get me wrong, new things are great and fun. But I need to truly learn how to cope with change. I am still in shock that we are not only moving to Jeff, but settling there for several years. I am also in shock that we're leaving this apartment complex where I have some good friends. We're leaving the apartment we have always known since becoming husband and wife. It's just a little weird.

I thank God for this new blessing, but I have found that when God blesses it's more than just ease and comfort. It's usually responsibility and a little hardship mixed in. So in order to handle my fears of things going wrong through this big change, I tend to plan waaay ahead by already starting packing, planning how I will do yard work and what we need for it, being super duper diligent with all of our documentation for the loan...

Ok, so I just wrote that for the purpose of records. We'll see how things go in hindsight, and then we will all see that change isn't all that bad.