Positive Job Update!

Today God provided David with a way out of UPS! His work there, mainly for the last 3 years in a supervisory role, has been just short of psychological torture. I'd rather not go into details here, but let me just say this: Don't become a front-line supervisor at UPS Worldport.

Moving on! David will now be working at the local Amazon.com fulfillment center right near us in our home town! He'll still be working third shift and will still also work at Sacred Heart Model School as their After School Care Director. He'll have to drop one of the two seminary classes he's taking this semester. He'll probably get in pretty good shape and get to grow his goatee back :) Those are the least of the perks of course. We will save big on gas money and wear and tear on our car, and he'll get a 3 day weekend, at least from Amazon. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm fully aware that our new schedule we be just as crazy as it always has been! (See my recent post about this) But it will be a lot less stressful in some very important ways. 

Practically, his new schedule fleshes out to be about 5 more hours of work a week. I know... More hours! For now, he'll be gone the entire evenings of tuesday through friday starting next week. When he came home from the interview today to ask me before accepting the position, it was hard for me to say yes... but not that hard. 

When you have a family you all have to make sacrifices. It's just what we have to do to get by, and there's no other way to do it right now. For this season I'm giving up the evenings we've had together and replacing them with lunches together, but only four days a week. Carson's nap will start later, around 1 now. Further, instead of about an hour and a half round-trip commute to UPS for David, that time will be spent working at a place only 10 minutes from our house. Also, this job is full-time. UPS never was, and it is very difficult to get full-time employment where he was at. At Amazon, he could easily be promoted and make enough to only have to work ONE JOB to make enough. We're teaming up to do this for our mental health. Ironic, I know.

Needless to say, I'd love to have friends over in the evenings now! Especially for dinner or play dates for the kids. 


 

What our Daily Life is REALLY Like

We kind of live a crazy life around here. I feel the need to explain this to our friends so you can know our needs. We need help sometimes. And understanding. We need prayer for the health of our family and marriage. I know all families have hardships, and I don't want to compete or compare. I just want our friends to know why we may say "no" to things sometimes. I also want our friends to know why they may not see us as often as other families, or why we feel overwhelmed sometimes. Our lifestyle is crazy, sort of like overbooked college students only with children and a mortgage. So here goes...

David's Schedule and How it Effects our Family

The craziest thing we've dealt with for pretty much the entire 5 years we've been married is David working third shift @ UPS. Because he works through the night monday through friday night, he has to get his '8 hours' another time of the day. So he sleeps from about 6:30 til 1PM. This throws a wrench in some social activities and things scheduled in the mornings, or makes them difficult for him to attend... When friends move, they move saturday mornings. That is David's equivalent of 2AM. When friends call David's phone during the mornings and lunch, he can't talk. He's sleeping :) And when Carson is playing around the house, can I let him scream a lot? not really... And every time I go into our room in the mornings to change clothes or get something, he stirs. I hate disturbing him and wish he could get more and better sleep. I've put darkening curtains in our bedroom to help him. Thankfully, most of the time David is a heavy sleeper. But not always. We have to be careful and considerate of him...

David also works two other jobs in addition to UPS. One is that he works afternoons Monday through Friday at Sacred Heart Model School. He is their After School Care Director. He works from 2 to 6. So when David wakes up at 1, he gets ready to go to work again and is gone until about 6:30. Though weeks are tight for us, it is God's provision and the schedule is doable for now. I have been praying for months that God would provide David with one job instead of these two being our principle income. He needs it, so if you could join me in prayer for this I would appreciate it! I need to be more persistent about prayer in this area though, because Christ commanded that in Scripture...

The third job David works is at our beloved home church working with AWANA and youth sunday school. When David wakes up Saturdays around lunch time, we have family time because it is the only day of the week where we can have any family time longer than one hour! Saturday nights he works on his Sunday School lesson. They are going through the book of Matthew. Carson and I miss David a lot during the week. Carson only gets to see Dada usually for an hour before bedtime M-F. I guess for some families this is okay, but we want more. 

Honestly, we have this constant feeling of being stretched and overworked. In a country that glorifies and worships workaholics, I don't feel like I fit in. Though we play the part very well! 

What also effects our schedule and our family is that we only have one car. It's easy for me to get my errands done when David sleeps  from 6:30 til 1, though Carson naps from 11:30 on. This gives me a four or five hour window to do stuff I need or want to do outside the home. But David uses the car from 1:30 to 6:30. By 6:30 I've been making dinner for an hour while feeding Carson, and also have it ready for a starving, hardworking husband when he comes home. David and Carson get their time together, and then Carson goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:00 right now. This gives David and I time together, though lately this has been spent doing work in our basement. He leaves for UPS around 10 and the daily cycle starts again for him... work 10-6, sleep 6:30 to 1, work 2-6, be with family from 6:30 time 10, etc. etc. etc. 

When you do the math, David's work week comes out to about 55 hours; 30-35 at UPS and 20 at SHMS. During the school year he also takes two classes. I don't know how my love does this, but he does it well. Very well. He is strong and hard working. He is not wimp. If there was ever a man who worked hard to provide for his family by doing whatever he can, it would be David. I am so proud of him. 

On Me Staying at Home

You can imagine that I could feel a load of guilt for David working so much outside the home, and here I am at home with Carson and soon to be another child. I'm not going to divulge all my struggles in this area, but I will just say that what we have now is the best for us. We know this.

A short explanation: If I were to work outside the home, I could never make as much per hour as David makes at any of his jobs. Thus if I worked and replaced income from one of David's jobs, I would have to work about twice as many hours as he works at the job just to make the same amount of money. This would give is even less time together as a family and make our schedule even more ridiculous.

I wish we could say that I am at home purely as a calling from the Lord, but I can't. Up until the third trimester of my first pregnancy we were planning on me working at least part time. Then this job at SHMS as After School Care Director fell in David's lap. It has been the best job he has ever had! The principal is wonderful and understanding of his third-shift sleeping schedule. The pay is exactly what we need. The job itself is fun for David, and also good for building his resume. He wants to be a Children's and/or Youth Pastor. Once he finishes his M.Div. next year he will have already sent out resumes, Lord willing. He has in the past, but God has closed all doors and so far laid on our hearts to stay where we are and serving in our home church, which we love. 

My daily schedule is formed around Carson's and David's schedules. I spend most of my day in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning up after cooking. I do laundry (we have a lot with cloth diapers ;) ), mow the lawn, pay the bills and manage our budget, do trash and recycling, grocery shopping, schedule events, watch kids for friends, and just play with and care for Carson. Though with all the chores, it is difficult to sit down and play with him when every where I look something needs to be done. 

So getting out of the house is essential for me. Not having car access in the afternoons, when chores are mostly done and Carson and I are getting cabin fever, has been a bit of a challenge, though I've adjusted. I've sort of made myself more introverted in order to serve my family better. But of course I spend too much time on FB when I feel the need to be in contact with people. I can't change the fact that God made me extroverted and a people person!

Could You Pray for Us?

We have struggled for a long time now with our lifestyle. What is more taxing than anything is the way he gets treated at his most necessary job, UPS. Every supervisor gets treated badly there, so David isn't particularly deserving of it or anything. We depend on UPS for SBTS tuition reimbursement, health/dental insurance and for half of our income. 

I always miss David when he leaves at night for work. A lot of my interactions with him throughout the day are in transition between some job or other and sleep. Many times he is only half awake. Sometimes this makes communication difficult! We strive to do weekly dates or 'couch time' and we make time to talk. 

David doesn't have much of a social life outside our family and his coworkers. By nature David is an introvert and doesn't require much in that area, though I see that he is hungry for time with other guys. Especially guys who share his interests, like his friends Jeremy, Scott B., Jason, Don, etc.  He also loves his parents and they talk frequently. 

So What?
 
In conclusion dear friends, if you see David nodding off at church, or ever wonder why we don't make it to events or helping someone move, or why David forgot to call you back for the 3rd time, or why you haven't heard from him for a while... now you know why, if you didn't already! :)

I just wanted to be a little vulnerable and share my heart with my friends. I know you all have difficulties, especially if you are a seminary family with young kids, etc.... Again, I have absolutely no time or patience to compare or judge how people spend their time, and I just ask that our friends don't do that to us. People love to compete because we are proud. I am just accepting the lot that God has given me, and I pray that you can do the same for yourself and your family.


But most importantly, could you please pray for David gets one job to take the place of his two at UPS and SHMS?!?!

 

On being an everyday apologist

I am continually surprised and at the same time discouraged by how many people who have called themselves Christians in the past are doing things against... let's call it, 'traditions'. I don't mean this self-righteously. I'm tempted to do the same things they now do, but the grace of God sustains me. I don't really talk to any of these people anymore.

But I make war on the doubts that creep up in my mind. I'm troubled. I'm burdened. I'm struggling. But I'm not defeated because of God in me. Over the years, even in Bible college, I've been through serious doubts about God and about Christ and about the Bible. But in the bloody pits of these battles I call out to God and He sustains me. Sometimes I don't even call out to God, and ignore Him; yet still, he speaks to me. He reveals himself to me. He shows his love to me. 

I don't know if these people who fell away did that, or what kind of pain they have been through, or anything. I don't really know them, I just see and hear about what they do. And I read about the kinds of thoughts and philosophies that lead to a denial of our faith and a free license to do whatever they want without fear of God. 

But nothing strengthens faith like discouragement, opposition or persecution. I turn over in my mind the claims of those against my faith. And I'd like to write more about what goes in on my brain here. 

My hesitation has always been the crap that people will throw at me, or the kinds of things they will say behind my back. Or to my face, since the internet makes people more rude and bold at times. 

But if I am staying true to my conscience, to what I feel God's Spirit leading me to do, and if I am doing nothing against the plain word of God, then I have nothing to be ashamed over. It's not shameful to be passionate about what's good. And if my passion for what's good makes someone feel guilty for being passionate about bad things, but they cover up their guilt with anger and hate and snappy remarks, I'm told that I'm blessed in receiving that. But am I throwing the proverbial pearls before the proverbial swine?

So maybe I'll go out of my comfort zone a bit. I'll start blogging about being an 'everyday apologist', with a Bible in one hand and a baby in the other. As I'm washing dishes and thinking, or as I'm watching Carson play and thinking, ... maybe I'll write some of those thoughts here. Maybe not.

Let me make one thing clear: I have no reason to hold myself above anyone who lives differently than me. I am just 'one beggar telling another beggar where to get bread.'

If I sound self-righteous to any of you, you have misunderstood me and I'm sorry. I work all day every day at setting aside my pride and checking my motives. I've almost gone insane over it, but for the assurance of God's acceptance of me by Christ.

Just remember this: I have the right to type these things, and so far, the American government has not restricted that right. I thank God for that and pray He uses me for His glory. 

His glory is the only worthy reason to writing about defending the orthodox Christian faith. 

Late January early February pics and fun!

We paid a friend, Courtney, so we went on a date with a gift card to Comfy Cow, a local ice cream place.

Friends from our church were replacing ALL of their living room and kitchen furniture, and they were generous and wanted to bless someone! So look what we got for them! crazy, huh?

The hutch from our church friends. This kind of generosity is normal in our church.

Another view of that furniture

These are the heirloom seeds from David's Christmas money for our garden!

Here's the mulch/compost we got for our garden. We're still working on shoveling it, but we're about halfway done!

On February 8th we had a freak warm day, in the 60's! So Carson helped me shovel, sorta

I tried going to Starbucks with Carson, but not much relaxing took place. From L to R: my spinach feta wrap, Carson's sippy, my iced mocha, and Carson's food! He got a lot of attention. I also ran into a girl that was in the choir I accompanied for 3 years ago! wait, 4.

After Starbucks I took Carson to a more kid-friendly place. The Rec Center @ the Seminary.

It was so cute watching him play with the trains!

Carson's almost 14 months and is sleeping with blankets and snuggling with them. We'd been using a sleepsack up til now! :)

Carson and Daddy: best buds :)

A gentleman and a scholar, in his new sweater, standing by our fine furniture.

Carson and Mama :)

Controversial Questions

source: sbts.edu/women/seminary-wives-institute/

Well I've sure been a slacker when it comes to SWI. It's a great resource for the ladies not in seminary around here, and I'd been taking only electives and not core classes for... ahem... 5 years now! lol. I can't believe it's been 5 years. In 5 years I have taken 6 electives, 2 required, and a combined total of 2 years off. Of course they aren't super strict with it. I've never been told: "You have to take this course or we'll kick you out!"

It was honestly hard to get into SWI because I had just finished getting a B.A. in Bible at Moody when we moved here 5 years ago. It wasn't so much that I had nothing new to learn, but that I was a bit burnt out from intense theological studies and paper writing and reading and wanted to relax and take more directly applicable classes. 

My favorite so far has been Nuts and Bolts of Local Church Ministry, which taught all new material for me and required us to read Liberating Ministry from the Success Syndrome by Hughes. I can't say enough good things about that book or that class. But especially the book - all the things that people get disillusioned with when it comes to church, all the obstacles a man like my husband faces in his ministry career... it all has it's cure in the Scriptural principles that Liberating puts forth. "Success is serving... success is praying... success is loving... success is faithfulness... success is prayer... success is attitude... success is holiness..." Those are the chapter headings. It sounds cheesy but when you get into the book, it makes perfect sense. 

Anyhoo, I was going to talk about the current SWI course that I'm signed up for. It's called Controversial Questions. It deals with creation and evolution, government and law, sexuality and gender (uh-oh...), family and children, medicine and bioethics, and doctrine and Scripture. 

If anyone reading my blogs in the past hasn't noticed, I kind of have a thing for controversies. It bothers me that all kinds or people, even people with less education than me in these areas, will proclaim their opinions and rants on the internet and get a lot of agreement, not because they are saying anything true, but because they are mad or hurt and are saying what peoples' itching ears want to hear. It's especially hard when I see people my age, who I've known from church or bible college, denying what they used to hold to for the sake of having their itching ears relieved for a time.

Not only do these things bother me, but my own questions and disillusioning experiences and doubts are what drive me to seek answers. When someone seeks answers to their questions with a heart that believes their God is good, a heart that is willing to feel hurt and be healed, those answers are easy to find. Hard to apply. God gives wisdom to those who ask. But when someone seeks answers that satisfy their desire for revenge or to cast blame, including on God, or answers that justify the things they do that are not pleasing to God, they'll find the fake answers. 

I don't profess tons of knowledge gained in experience in these areas, but I have enough experience of churches to know that you can never go to a church expecting a utopia. The only utopia that will exist on earth is when Jesus returns. But when utopia-seekers join a church and become disillusioned, they blame it on their local church or denomination. They leave. They cast judgments and use their bitterness as fuel for snide remarks. This reaction is just wrong.

What is stopping me from joining this online discussion and providing another perspective? Again, many people I read don't have any more educational experience than I do, especially in Biblical studies. Maybe someday I'll jump in an be an orthodox voice in the debates. The holdback is the drama. Sigh, the drama. The ad hominem and the name-calling. The slippery slopes and the straw men. If I jump in, I may never come out alive!

Plans foiled

I had plans today to clean the whole house, but instead it will be getting messier (and germier!). I hate the stomach bug, but it does bring our family together! haha.

So while Carson naps and David catches his sleep after UPS, I'm working on one of my little side jobs - editing papers for an international seminary student. I met her while we worked together at Southern almost 2 years ago now, and she pays me to edit her papers for grammar and clarity of thought. 

It's a really interesting perspective, doing this. I get to see into the mind of someone who is not American and someone who has a huge heart for missions. But also from the perspective of translation. I have to be very careful to not impose the meaning I gather from what she writes over the meaning that she intended to write. Not only would this be unethical, but it would change her meaning, perhaps without her realizing it! The meanings of words can be so subtle at times. 

When will we be done with seminary?

Above you will see a picture I drew tonight in paint (due to my ineptitude in uploading a pie chart from Excel) of how much of an M.Div. my hardworking husband has earned! I had so much fun drawing this I may add more to this blog in the future. 

Going to Southern Seminary is why we moved to Louisville in the first place. What happened after that is not my fault! Just kidding. Anyhoo, in four years of classes this is how much he has been able to finish so far. That's 65 out of 94 credits! 

So when will David be done with seminary? We don't know. If he is able to keep up his current pace, just 2 more years.

Fall at Southern

The other day we took a trip as a family to the seminary so David could copy sources for an exegetical paper on Matt. 19:1-12 :) And lucky I brought my camera because the leaves were breathtaking! Southern has awesome landscape, and when I worked there the landscapers were working all day every day on it! 

behind the library. I love the sun!

walking up toward the great lawn

one view of Legacy, where I used to work

leaves on Godfrey rd, behind Legacy

leaves 

more leaves

bright yellow leaves!

red and green in succession

sun on the leaves