June Updates

Since I last wrote here we've made a lot of progress on our basement, which is mostly what we do in our free time (especially David). After 5 days of tiling, the largest portion of our family room is laid but not grouted. Here it is: 

Now David can use the tiled portion for the wet saw and other tiling materials so he can finish the other half of the room and the hallway. I've been helping lay tile, put in spacers, wipe up extra mortar, and a few things, but David does most of it. It's kinda hard to be crouched on the ground at the end of a full day with a belly in the way, but I wish I could be of more help. 

It's been 2 months and a few weeks since our basement flooded! I'd say we're only about 40% done with the whole project. DIY is long, hard, and dirty! It requires a lot of patience and hard work and perseverance! And a little extra room in the budget for mess-ups ;)

Other than that Carson is growing up so fast! He's learned several new words these past few weeks. I tried to get them on video but he isn't the performing type :) The cutest word he says is 'cracker' (his all-time favorite and therefore his first 2 syllable word that he says the clearest). It sounds like "caa cuh" when he says it in his quiet little voice. Also, to top it all off he melts my heart with his new habit of wanting to snuggle in my lap :) He's never been much of a snuggler until now, and he still doesn't sit still very long! 

Other new things are plans for a family reunion in July and having to say goodbye to Miyah, my parents' sweet dog, aka my little sister :( 

Also, I'm 15 weeks along. We have no name ideas yet and are kind of waiting on the gender ultrasound July 29. Every time one of us brings up a name, the other one doesn't like it. We also have different styles: I like modern names, David likes more traditional names. Biblical names can be both modern and traditional, so we may go for that. 

I had an appointment at 13 weeks which scared me! The Dr. couldn't find the heartbeat, but it turned out the placenta is in the way (anterior). So I saw little one again by ultrasound! Thus, this baby gets a 9 week, 13 weeks and 21 week ultrasound! :) here is my belly! 

Also, we got a new fridge a couple weeks ago. Our old one broke, so we used my birthday money and a little insurance money to buy it. 

 

Lastly, David has another interview, this time for a sort of lateral move at UPS for a full-time admin. position in a location where he would be treated better. In case you didn't know, UPS is famous for being a miserable place to work but makes up for it with school help, high pay and amazing health benefits. :P but at the end of he day, I would rather be a little more poor than see my husband unhappy. 

What our Daily Life is REALLY Like

We kind of live a crazy life around here. I feel the need to explain this to our friends so you can know our needs. We need help sometimes. And understanding. We need prayer for the health of our family and marriage. I know all families have hardships, and I don't want to compete or compare. I just want our friends to know why we may say "no" to things sometimes. I also want our friends to know why they may not see us as often as other families, or why we feel overwhelmed sometimes. Our lifestyle is crazy, sort of like overbooked college students only with children and a mortgage. So here goes...

David's Schedule and How it Effects our Family

The craziest thing we've dealt with for pretty much the entire 5 years we've been married is David working third shift @ UPS. Because he works through the night monday through friday night, he has to get his '8 hours' another time of the day. So he sleeps from about 6:30 til 1PM. This throws a wrench in some social activities and things scheduled in the mornings, or makes them difficult for him to attend... When friends move, they move saturday mornings. That is David's equivalent of 2AM. When friends call David's phone during the mornings and lunch, he can't talk. He's sleeping :) And when Carson is playing around the house, can I let him scream a lot? not really... And every time I go into our room in the mornings to change clothes or get something, he stirs. I hate disturbing him and wish he could get more and better sleep. I've put darkening curtains in our bedroom to help him. Thankfully, most of the time David is a heavy sleeper. But not always. We have to be careful and considerate of him...

David also works two other jobs in addition to UPS. One is that he works afternoons Monday through Friday at Sacred Heart Model School. He is their After School Care Director. He works from 2 to 6. So when David wakes up at 1, he gets ready to go to work again and is gone until about 6:30. Though weeks are tight for us, it is God's provision and the schedule is doable for now. I have been praying for months that God would provide David with one job instead of these two being our principle income. He needs it, so if you could join me in prayer for this I would appreciate it! I need to be more persistent about prayer in this area though, because Christ commanded that in Scripture...

The third job David works is at our beloved home church working with AWANA and youth sunday school. When David wakes up Saturdays around lunch time, we have family time because it is the only day of the week where we can have any family time longer than one hour! Saturday nights he works on his Sunday School lesson. They are going through the book of Matthew. Carson and I miss David a lot during the week. Carson only gets to see Dada usually for an hour before bedtime M-F. I guess for some families this is okay, but we want more. 

Honestly, we have this constant feeling of being stretched and overworked. In a country that glorifies and worships workaholics, I don't feel like I fit in. Though we play the part very well! 

What also effects our schedule and our family is that we only have one car. It's easy for me to get my errands done when David sleeps  from 6:30 til 1, though Carson naps from 11:30 on. This gives me a four or five hour window to do stuff I need or want to do outside the home. But David uses the car from 1:30 to 6:30. By 6:30 I've been making dinner for an hour while feeding Carson, and also have it ready for a starving, hardworking husband when he comes home. David and Carson get their time together, and then Carson goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:00 right now. This gives David and I time together, though lately this has been spent doing work in our basement. He leaves for UPS around 10 and the daily cycle starts again for him... work 10-6, sleep 6:30 to 1, work 2-6, be with family from 6:30 time 10, etc. etc. etc. 

When you do the math, David's work week comes out to about 55 hours; 30-35 at UPS and 20 at SHMS. During the school year he also takes two classes. I don't know how my love does this, but he does it well. Very well. He is strong and hard working. He is not wimp. If there was ever a man who worked hard to provide for his family by doing whatever he can, it would be David. I am so proud of him. 

On Me Staying at Home

You can imagine that I could feel a load of guilt for David working so much outside the home, and here I am at home with Carson and soon to be another child. I'm not going to divulge all my struggles in this area, but I will just say that what we have now is the best for us. We know this.

A short explanation: If I were to work outside the home, I could never make as much per hour as David makes at any of his jobs. Thus if I worked and replaced income from one of David's jobs, I would have to work about twice as many hours as he works at the job just to make the same amount of money. This would give is even less time together as a family and make our schedule even more ridiculous.

I wish we could say that I am at home purely as a calling from the Lord, but I can't. Up until the third trimester of my first pregnancy we were planning on me working at least part time. Then this job at SHMS as After School Care Director fell in David's lap. It has been the best job he has ever had! The principal is wonderful and understanding of his third-shift sleeping schedule. The pay is exactly what we need. The job itself is fun for David, and also good for building his resume. He wants to be a Children's and/or Youth Pastor. Once he finishes his M.Div. next year he will have already sent out resumes, Lord willing. He has in the past, but God has closed all doors and so far laid on our hearts to stay where we are and serving in our home church, which we love. 

My daily schedule is formed around Carson's and David's schedules. I spend most of my day in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning up after cooking. I do laundry (we have a lot with cloth diapers ;) ), mow the lawn, pay the bills and manage our budget, do trash and recycling, grocery shopping, schedule events, watch kids for friends, and just play with and care for Carson. Though with all the chores, it is difficult to sit down and play with him when every where I look something needs to be done. 

So getting out of the house is essential for me. Not having car access in the afternoons, when chores are mostly done and Carson and I are getting cabin fever, has been a bit of a challenge, though I've adjusted. I've sort of made myself more introverted in order to serve my family better. But of course I spend too much time on FB when I feel the need to be in contact with people. I can't change the fact that God made me extroverted and a people person!

Could You Pray for Us?

We have struggled for a long time now with our lifestyle. What is more taxing than anything is the way he gets treated at his most necessary job, UPS. Every supervisor gets treated badly there, so David isn't particularly deserving of it or anything. We depend on UPS for SBTS tuition reimbursement, health/dental insurance and for half of our income. 

I always miss David when he leaves at night for work. A lot of my interactions with him throughout the day are in transition between some job or other and sleep. Many times he is only half awake. Sometimes this makes communication difficult! We strive to do weekly dates or 'couch time' and we make time to talk. 

David doesn't have much of a social life outside our family and his coworkers. By nature David is an introvert and doesn't require much in that area, though I see that he is hungry for time with other guys. Especially guys who share his interests, like his friends Jeremy, Scott B., Jason, Don, etc.  He also loves his parents and they talk frequently. 

So What?
 
In conclusion dear friends, if you see David nodding off at church, or ever wonder why we don't make it to events or helping someone move, or why David forgot to call you back for the 3rd time, or why you haven't heard from him for a while... now you know why, if you didn't already! :)

I just wanted to be a little vulnerable and share my heart with my friends. I know you all have difficulties, especially if you are a seminary family with young kids, etc.... Again, I have absolutely no time or patience to compare or judge how people spend their time, and I just ask that our friends don't do that to us. People love to compete because we are proud. I am just accepting the lot that God has given me, and I pray that you can do the same for yourself and your family.


But most importantly, could you please pray for David gets one job to take the place of his two at UPS and SHMS?!?!

 

Basement progress

Empty family room!

David sweeping the splinters from the tack strips

The hallway

He laundry room is now home to some family room furniture, which blocks off the 3rd bedroom completely! Lol...

We've removed the carpet, padding and tack strips. I should say David and our friend Jason... I am doing painting, cleaning, taping for painting the remaining walls and sweeping and organizing! We are sooo ready to have the bottom half of our house back! We are making sacrifices to get it done too. 

Next on the agenda is to finish the living room: paint the remaining walls, lay the tile, then put the room back together! It could take a while. 

Then we have to paint the laundry room where David remade the walls and lay tile in there. Then we are getting our bad plumbing in the basement redone. By then I can get the washing machine installed, the one I got money for on my birthday  but haven't bought yet.

Then David has to do all the walls in the 3rd bedroom and floor too. I really hope that Lord willing this will be done by mid-October! That's 180 days (for insurance purposes).

What's hard is me being fatigued, sick and not lifting heavy objects (like rolls of carpet or ends of couches). I'm not taking any chances. David would've had another older sibling were it not for pregnant women lifting heavy objects! So I have no guilt in refraining. It is also hard to keep Carson content in the pack n play while I work. He is actually more content when he can't see me when he has his alone play time. Maybe I can try moving it out of the room but within earshot... Hmmm.

Recent Stuff from April and May

We've made a little progress on our basement with the help of some friends, and David working on it after work!

I got an awesome deal on cloth diapers online, but other than that I've not taken on too much the last few weeks! Nausea came earlier this time, along with fatigue. My allergies have been horrible! Baby #2 is already 9 weeks, and is due 3 days after Carson's 2nd birthday! I saw the healthy heartbeat of 170 yesterday and left Carson with some friends from church. I realized that we have had no need to do that for the last several months, so after I drove away I started to worry! I completely trust my friends, but I guess I just had mommy separation anxiety. I just don't scream and cry ;)

Mother's Day was wonderful! I love that holiday now that I am one and understand it more. I almost like it more than my birthday. Christmas however is going to be NuTs for the rest of our lives, with two kids with Dec. birthdays within 10 days of Christmas! I was thinking that we would have Carson's parties in early December and baby #2's around New Year. That way they both still have parties and I have a month between them... Lol!

I hope we have a girl so I'm not outnumbered. 

In other news our garden is a big trial-and-error zone this spring. The peas are still ok, but many seeds haven't sprouted. I suspect the birds! Our herbs are ok but depending on the type of pot and the climate, some do better than others! I can't wait to have a home-grown salad, even if it is made of just peas.

We miss our families a lot. We have a couple get together this summer, so hopefully I can get done good pictures of all of us together! 

Blogging took a back burner...

Like any wife and mom, I can always say that my life is "crazy". But these past two or so weeks were extra-super-crazy! One crisis after another! When it rains, it pours. 

First, our basement flooded. It was like a nightmare that came to life! Praise God for our church family, some of whom came at midnight that saturday to help us pull up carpet, vac up water, move furniture and tear our wet padding! It was us vs. gushing water! It was a furious race! It was just nuts! 

After we ripped out drywall to minimize damage - rental fans blowing most of the week

This is where the pipe burst - a former spigot that was POORLY capped off! imagine a spigot running INSIDE your wall.

Water seeped through the walls into the 3rd bedroom

The brick on the other side of the leak, where the spigot used to be, was still wet after a day or two! no rain had come either...

nasty

So anyhoo we just had an adventure, and it took a lot of time on the phone to talk to insurance people and get restoration companies to come out with estimates. Since we want to do as much as we can on our own, it's gonna take longer than if we just paid someone to do every little thing. So besides using the washer and dryer, maybe the toilet, and jumping over boxes to get to the pantry, we don't use our family room or third bedroom anymore :(

At this point I can say that I miss renting, but only a little.

All three of us also got colds. Other kinds of crises occurred around the same time too, and it's been an emotionally and physically exhausting week! 

I don't really need any pity though. We are truly blessed in every way. We live in a time and place of abundance and things like this are easily taken care of! I can't imagine living in a time and place where there would be no money and help to do this. I guess people such a time and place have more handyman skills by necessity though...

 Right now David's parents are here for the weekend, and we've had a good time relaxing and laughing with them. Today, trying to squeeze David, Glenn and Carson in his massive car seat all in the back seat of our tiny Kia Rio was pretty funny. What's also laughable is that it took the five of us 2 hours to obtain lunch - between getting ready, trying to all fit in our car and figuring out where to eat! Though my "hanger" at the time made it not funny to me right then.

In conclusion however, just to be completely honest... My heart has just been really laid bare this week (not just cuz of the stupid basement). Who is my hope? Where is my trust? Do I try to blend in with the culture around me to find truth, or do I turn to God for it? Do I live to make sure people think I'm "legit" or do I live for God regardless of what people think of me, especially those who are cynical and predisposed to not like me? Do I hunger for the light of God? Do I "hate" my brother or sister in Christ (as mentioned in 1 Jn)? Am I doing what I should be doing right now, or am I just being selfish with my time, neglecting my family? 

It's a hard battle sometimes, working through all this. I feel constantly at war between pleasing man and pleasing God. It's like Paul's thorn in the flesh. It's a sin struggle that I feel like I will never overcome. It makes me weak as a Christian... so worried about what others could possibly think about me, and so caught up in their glory rather than God's glory. 

This is one of the things I absolutely despise about my age-group (the millenials) right now: we are taking worship to a whole new level. Worship of ourselves, of our things, of our food, of our significant other... It's not "cool" to worship God, no. It's trite, self-righteous and narrow-minded to praise God publicly, especially face-to-face. It can shock some people, to actually say "praise Jesus" in normal conversation... I mean, people who call themselves Christians. 

Yet this is where my heart truly is. I want to let my light shine and let people see Jesus in me. But I know I've failed at that time and again. I'm sorry to people I've known who haven't seen this side of me like they should. I hide it for fear of their opinion of me. I pray that God continues to free me from my fear of man so that I can praise Him freely, no matter what the cost.