On being an everyday apologist

I am continually surprised and at the same time discouraged by how many people who have called themselves Christians in the past are doing things against... let's call it, 'traditions'. I don't mean this self-righteously. I'm tempted to do the same things they now do, but the grace of God sustains me. I don't really talk to any of these people anymore.

But I make war on the doubts that creep up in my mind. I'm troubled. I'm burdened. I'm struggling. But I'm not defeated because of God in me. Over the years, even in Bible college, I've been through serious doubts about God and about Christ and about the Bible. But in the bloody pits of these battles I call out to God and He sustains me. Sometimes I don't even call out to God, and ignore Him; yet still, he speaks to me. He reveals himself to me. He shows his love to me. 

I don't know if these people who fell away did that, or what kind of pain they have been through, or anything. I don't really know them, I just see and hear about what they do. And I read about the kinds of thoughts and philosophies that lead to a denial of our faith and a free license to do whatever they want without fear of God. 

But nothing strengthens faith like discouragement, opposition or persecution. I turn over in my mind the claims of those against my faith. And I'd like to write more about what goes in on my brain here. 

My hesitation has always been the crap that people will throw at me, or the kinds of things they will say behind my back. Or to my face, since the internet makes people more rude and bold at times. 

But if I am staying true to my conscience, to what I feel God's Spirit leading me to do, and if I am doing nothing against the plain word of God, then I have nothing to be ashamed over. It's not shameful to be passionate about what's good. And if my passion for what's good makes someone feel guilty for being passionate about bad things, but they cover up their guilt with anger and hate and snappy remarks, I'm told that I'm blessed in receiving that. But am I throwing the proverbial pearls before the proverbial swine?

So maybe I'll go out of my comfort zone a bit. I'll start blogging about being an 'everyday apologist', with a Bible in one hand and a baby in the other. As I'm washing dishes and thinking, or as I'm watching Carson play and thinking, ... maybe I'll write some of those thoughts here. Maybe not.

Let me make one thing clear: I have no reason to hold myself above anyone who lives differently than me. I am just 'one beggar telling another beggar where to get bread.'

If I sound self-righteous to any of you, you have misunderstood me and I'm sorry. I work all day every day at setting aside my pride and checking my motives. I've almost gone insane over it, but for the assurance of God's acceptance of me by Christ.

Just remember this: I have the right to type these things, and so far, the American government has not restricted that right. I thank God for that and pray He uses me for His glory. 

His glory is the only worthy reason to writing about defending the orthodox Christian faith. 

Devotion on Psalm 37:1

Psalm 37 has really spoken to me this last week. Here is a devotional on verse 1 that is profound.

Cuteness.

Overwhelming!

Apple microwave

God causes growth

What then is [John Piper]? What is [CJ Mahaney]? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. I planted, [the Gospel Coalition] watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.

 1 Cor 3

Visit to Hickory

Hickory is David's hometown and where all of his family lives.

us @ New Life

confined!

buddies

Weakness verses

On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”

When I kept silent,
    my bones wasted away
    through my groaning all day long. For day and night
    your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
    as in the heat of summer^. Then I acknowledged my sin to you
    and did not cover up my iniquity.

The Lord did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. But it was because the Lord loved you and kept the oath he swore to your ancestors that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt. Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments. 

 Rebuke the wise and they will love you.

 
Mark 2:17, 1 Cor 1:26-31, Ps 32:3-5, Deut 7:7-9, Prov 9:8

Carson tries the piano

Every single day Carson learns something new and grows in comprehension! On wednesday, after teaching piano to my two wonderful students, I let Carson play around for a bit. What surprised me was him trying to play one key with one finger, rather than banging with his fist. He seems to understand what a piano is for already! I'm so proud of him and I hope to make "practice" part of our daily routine. Or at least a couple times a week. 

Josh, Carson and Bri

Carson and my piano students, aka Carson's buddies

pressings keys with his fingers

Crosses his legs. We'll have to work on his posture :) jk

It sounded almost pretty!

 

Late January early February pics and fun!

We paid a friend, Courtney, so we went on a date with a gift card to Comfy Cow, a local ice cream place.

Friends from our church were replacing ALL of their living room and kitchen furniture, and they were generous and wanted to bless someone! So look what we got for them! crazy, huh?

The hutch from our church friends. This kind of generosity is normal in our church.

Another view of that furniture

These are the heirloom seeds from David's Christmas money for our garden!

Here's the mulch/compost we got for our garden. We're still working on shoveling it, but we're about halfway done!

On February 8th we had a freak warm day, in the 60's! So Carson helped me shovel, sorta

I tried going to Starbucks with Carson, but not much relaxing took place. From L to R: my spinach feta wrap, Carson's sippy, my iced mocha, and Carson's food! He got a lot of attention. I also ran into a girl that was in the choir I accompanied for 3 years ago! wait, 4.

After Starbucks I took Carson to a more kid-friendly place. The Rec Center @ the Seminary.

It was so cute watching him play with the trains!

Carson's almost 14 months and is sleeping with blankets and snuggling with them. We'd been using a sleepsack up til now! :)

Carson and Daddy: best buds :)

A gentleman and a scholar, in his new sweater, standing by our fine furniture.

Carson and Mama :)

Controversial Questions

source: sbts.edu/women/seminary-wives-institute/

Well I've sure been a slacker when it comes to SWI. It's a great resource for the ladies not in seminary around here, and I'd been taking only electives and not core classes for... ahem... 5 years now! lol. I can't believe it's been 5 years. In 5 years I have taken 6 electives, 2 required, and a combined total of 2 years off. Of course they aren't super strict with it. I've never been told: "You have to take this course or we'll kick you out!"

It was honestly hard to get into SWI because I had just finished getting a B.A. in Bible at Moody when we moved here 5 years ago. It wasn't so much that I had nothing new to learn, but that I was a bit burnt out from intense theological studies and paper writing and reading and wanted to relax and take more directly applicable classes. 

My favorite so far has been Nuts and Bolts of Local Church Ministry, which taught all new material for me and required us to read Liberating Ministry from the Success Syndrome by Hughes. I can't say enough good things about that book or that class. But especially the book - all the things that people get disillusioned with when it comes to church, all the obstacles a man like my husband faces in his ministry career... it all has it's cure in the Scriptural principles that Liberating puts forth. "Success is serving... success is praying... success is loving... success is faithfulness... success is prayer... success is attitude... success is holiness..." Those are the chapter headings. It sounds cheesy but when you get into the book, it makes perfect sense. 

Anyhoo, I was going to talk about the current SWI course that I'm signed up for. It's called Controversial Questions. It deals with creation and evolution, government and law, sexuality and gender (uh-oh...), family and children, medicine and bioethics, and doctrine and Scripture. 

If anyone reading my blogs in the past hasn't noticed, I kind of have a thing for controversies. It bothers me that all kinds or people, even people with less education than me in these areas, will proclaim their opinions and rants on the internet and get a lot of agreement, not because they are saying anything true, but because they are mad or hurt and are saying what peoples' itching ears want to hear. It's especially hard when I see people my age, who I've known from church or bible college, denying what they used to hold to for the sake of having their itching ears relieved for a time.

Not only do these things bother me, but my own questions and disillusioning experiences and doubts are what drive me to seek answers. When someone seeks answers to their questions with a heart that believes their God is good, a heart that is willing to feel hurt and be healed, those answers are easy to find. Hard to apply. God gives wisdom to those who ask. But when someone seeks answers that satisfy their desire for revenge or to cast blame, including on God, or answers that justify the things they do that are not pleasing to God, they'll find the fake answers. 

I don't profess tons of knowledge gained in experience in these areas, but I have enough experience of churches to know that you can never go to a church expecting a utopia. The only utopia that will exist on earth is when Jesus returns. But when utopia-seekers join a church and become disillusioned, they blame it on their local church or denomination. They leave. They cast judgments and use their bitterness as fuel for snide remarks. This reaction is just wrong.

What is stopping me from joining this online discussion and providing another perspective? Again, many people I read don't have any more educational experience than I do, especially in Biblical studies. Maybe someday I'll jump in an be an orthodox voice in the debates. The holdback is the drama. Sigh, the drama. The ad hominem and the name-calling. The slippery slopes and the straw men. If I jump in, I may never come out alive!