Not just 'airing my opinions'

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I love blogging and writing (when my charge allows) and could sit in front of this cheapo screen all day reading and writing. I think I even cherish this subconscious dream of becoming a writer of sorts, though I know I couldn't and wouldn't want to handle the stress, criticism and attention.

So I content myself to read the famous blogs. In recent months I've come to see why certain bloggers or authors get famous and others don't: The blogs that attract all the attention are people ranting and venting about being victimized in some form or another. Even worse, sometimes these bloggers have only a beginning or absolutely no formal education in the topic they are ranting about. And their readers, including myself, would rather read a short but attention-getting blog post rather than go to the library and read a more thoroughly researched, professionally edited and published work on the topic.

I notice that when I write about how I've been mistreated by someone and get snappish with my words, giving vent to my anger, that the post gets a lot of hits and feedback. When I write about every day things, being faithful in caring for family or just updates, or what God is teaching me through the Bible, it's usually not noticed that much.

pic source www.mrmediatraining.com

I know why this is. It's in our nature to flock to passionate causes, but also in our nature to flock to that which itches our ears, which causes us to feel that satisfaction of wrath against a real or perceived injustice, to even cherish our hatred of one group of people or another. It's in our nature to be hateful. It really is.

God has convicted me of this. It is wrong for me to use online resources for passive-aggressive behavior. It is wrong for me to use online means to give vent to and nourish my bitterness or anger! And whenever I've found myself in the situation of posting something like this, I'm ashamed. I also realize that I posted that thing without praying first, and that I hadn't been in God's Word recently when I did. Instead, I marinated my mind in thoughts written by someone not in a Christ-like frame of mind, or something who denies Christ altogether. Furthermore I realize that what I posted was just my rantings and opinions, usually not researched or in adequate response to something I've thoroughly studied. It is usually and solely an emotional reaction because of my offended pride.

Could it be that the Christian life requires someone to be extra careful with what they post online? I really think so. Could it be that a faithful Christian has a 'boring' online representation of their life? Yes! And I'm ok with that. In the context of contentment in any life situation Paul wrote, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

This means that I, as someone who loves to blog about my opinions, can through Christ's strength run those opinions through His Word and test to see if they are pleasing to Him before I post them. I can deny myself the emotional satisfaction of "getting back" at someone for hurting me. I can gain the courage to approach that person and talk to them face-to-face if they have hurt me. I regret that I've not done this in the past when I should. I always suffered from guilt or drama because of it. One or more relationships were strained. Most of all, anger and bitterness were allowed to take root and grow and prosper, making their presence in my heart more permanent and dangerous. It actually causes my spirit to die, the part of me that wants to seek and love God with all my heart. It stifles the hunger I've had in the past to know Him, and eradicates the hunger for time in the Word. It makes me friendships with people surfacey and shallow, never talking about the things of the Lord. It makes my view of reality to be shaped by worldly influences rather than the refreshing power of God's revealed words.

Now that I've further realized this I hope to change it by God's grace.

What our Daily Life is REALLY Like

We kind of live a crazy life around here. I feel the need to explain this to our friends so you can know our needs. We need help sometimes. And understanding. We need prayer for the health of our family and marriage. I know all families have hardships, and I don't want to compete or compare. I just want our friends to know why we may say "no" to things sometimes. I also want our friends to know why they may not see us as often as other families, or why we feel overwhelmed sometimes. Our lifestyle is crazy, sort of like overbooked college students only with children and a mortgage. So here goes...

David's Schedule and How it Effects our Family

The craziest thing we've dealt with for pretty much the entire 5 years we've been married is David working third shift @ UPS. Because he works through the night monday through friday night, he has to get his '8 hours' another time of the day. So he sleeps from about 6:30 til 1PM. This throws a wrench in some social activities and things scheduled in the mornings, or makes them difficult for him to attend... When friends move, they move saturday mornings. That is David's equivalent of 2AM. When friends call David's phone during the mornings and lunch, he can't talk. He's sleeping :) And when Carson is playing around the house, can I let him scream a lot? not really... And every time I go into our room in the mornings to change clothes or get something, he stirs. I hate disturbing him and wish he could get more and better sleep. I've put darkening curtains in our bedroom to help him. Thankfully, most of the time David is a heavy sleeper. But not always. We have to be careful and considerate of him...

David also works two other jobs in addition to UPS. One is that he works afternoons Monday through Friday at Sacred Heart Model School. He is their After School Care Director. He works from 2 to 6. So when David wakes up at 1, he gets ready to go to work again and is gone until about 6:30. Though weeks are tight for us, it is God's provision and the schedule is doable for now. I have been praying for months that God would provide David with one job instead of these two being our principle income. He needs it, so if you could join me in prayer for this I would appreciate it! I need to be more persistent about prayer in this area though, because Christ commanded that in Scripture...

The third job David works is at our beloved home church working with AWANA and youth sunday school. When David wakes up Saturdays around lunch time, we have family time because it is the only day of the week where we can have any family time longer than one hour! Saturday nights he works on his Sunday School lesson. They are going through the book of Matthew. Carson and I miss David a lot during the week. Carson only gets to see Dada usually for an hour before bedtime M-F. I guess for some families this is okay, but we want more. 

Honestly, we have this constant feeling of being stretched and overworked. In a country that glorifies and worships workaholics, I don't feel like I fit in. Though we play the part very well! 

What also effects our schedule and our family is that we only have one car. It's easy for me to get my errands done when David sleeps  from 6:30 til 1, though Carson naps from 11:30 on. This gives me a four or five hour window to do stuff I need or want to do outside the home. But David uses the car from 1:30 to 6:30. By 6:30 I've been making dinner for an hour while feeding Carson, and also have it ready for a starving, hardworking husband when he comes home. David and Carson get their time together, and then Carson goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:00 right now. This gives David and I time together, though lately this has been spent doing work in our basement. He leaves for UPS around 10 and the daily cycle starts again for him... work 10-6, sleep 6:30 to 1, work 2-6, be with family from 6:30 time 10, etc. etc. etc. 

When you do the math, David's work week comes out to about 55 hours; 30-35 at UPS and 20 at SHMS. During the school year he also takes two classes. I don't know how my love does this, but he does it well. Very well. He is strong and hard working. He is not wimp. If there was ever a man who worked hard to provide for his family by doing whatever he can, it would be David. I am so proud of him. 

On Me Staying at Home

You can imagine that I could feel a load of guilt for David working so much outside the home, and here I am at home with Carson and soon to be another child. I'm not going to divulge all my struggles in this area, but I will just say that what we have now is the best for us. We know this.

A short explanation: If I were to work outside the home, I could never make as much per hour as David makes at any of his jobs. Thus if I worked and replaced income from one of David's jobs, I would have to work about twice as many hours as he works at the job just to make the same amount of money. This would give is even less time together as a family and make our schedule even more ridiculous.

I wish we could say that I am at home purely as a calling from the Lord, but I can't. Up until the third trimester of my first pregnancy we were planning on me working at least part time. Then this job at SHMS as After School Care Director fell in David's lap. It has been the best job he has ever had! The principal is wonderful and understanding of his third-shift sleeping schedule. The pay is exactly what we need. The job itself is fun for David, and also good for building his resume. He wants to be a Children's and/or Youth Pastor. Once he finishes his M.Div. next year he will have already sent out resumes, Lord willing. He has in the past, but God has closed all doors and so far laid on our hearts to stay where we are and serving in our home church, which we love. 

My daily schedule is formed around Carson's and David's schedules. I spend most of my day in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning up after cooking. I do laundry (we have a lot with cloth diapers ;) ), mow the lawn, pay the bills and manage our budget, do trash and recycling, grocery shopping, schedule events, watch kids for friends, and just play with and care for Carson. Though with all the chores, it is difficult to sit down and play with him when every where I look something needs to be done. 

So getting out of the house is essential for me. Not having car access in the afternoons, when chores are mostly done and Carson and I are getting cabin fever, has been a bit of a challenge, though I've adjusted. I've sort of made myself more introverted in order to serve my family better. But of course I spend too much time on FB when I feel the need to be in contact with people. I can't change the fact that God made me extroverted and a people person!

Could You Pray for Us?

We have struggled for a long time now with our lifestyle. What is more taxing than anything is the way he gets treated at his most necessary job, UPS. Every supervisor gets treated badly there, so David isn't particularly deserving of it or anything. We depend on UPS for SBTS tuition reimbursement, health/dental insurance and for half of our income. 

I always miss David when he leaves at night for work. A lot of my interactions with him throughout the day are in transition between some job or other and sleep. Many times he is only half awake. Sometimes this makes communication difficult! We strive to do weekly dates or 'couch time' and we make time to talk. 

David doesn't have much of a social life outside our family and his coworkers. By nature David is an introvert and doesn't require much in that area, though I see that he is hungry for time with other guys. Especially guys who share his interests, like his friends Jeremy, Scott B., Jason, Don, etc.  He also loves his parents and they talk frequently. 

So What?
 
In conclusion dear friends, if you see David nodding off at church, or ever wonder why we don't make it to events or helping someone move, or why David forgot to call you back for the 3rd time, or why you haven't heard from him for a while... now you know why, if you didn't already! :)

I just wanted to be a little vulnerable and share my heart with my friends. I know you all have difficulties, especially if you are a seminary family with young kids, etc.... Again, I have absolutely no time or patience to compare or judge how people spend their time, and I just ask that our friends don't do that to us. People love to compete because we are proud. I am just accepting the lot that God has given me, and I pray that you can do the same for yourself and your family.


But most importantly, could you please pray for David gets one job to take the place of his two at UPS and SHMS?!?!

 

Why Christians need to be cautious with Rachel Held Evans' writings

This lady has gotten attention; for her skepticism, embrace of doubt, for questioning everything about traditional American evangelicalism. Bible interpretation, women's roles, especially the word "biblical", homosexuality, gay marriage and other sexual issues are all areas that she has a voice in.

She strikes a chord with those jaded by evangelicalism. Or the cynics. Or people who have doubts that they just can't conquer. She also strikes a chord with people who are or have been part of a typical evangelical subculture or church, but who do not have the family structure that is usually desired: marriage and/or children.

These issues and viewpoints are personal and, I'm guessing, painful. They definitely cause a lot of friction. Thus when I write this I have absolutely no intention of causing more hurt. I also realize that writing as one with the desired familial structure I may not be well received.

Can the reader set aside any bias against me? I hope so. I'm simply writing as a Christian to anyone who is curious enough to know my two cents.

I've been observing Rachel Held Evans from a distance for two or three years now; reading her stuff, reviews of her stuff, articles about her or by her, etc. She's smart. I love her writing style. I resonate with many of her concerns about American evangelicalism. I too struggle with church.

But there are some things about her trains of thought, her presuppositions, her hermeneutic, her views of authority, that I think can lead to some serious betrayals of orthodox Christianity. Not evangelicalism, but Christianity. Stuff that transcends the littler issues that divided denominations or elected presidents. I'm talking core stuff.

Before I go any further, I want to say that Evans is so good with words and thoughts that I'm sure she would easily refute what I have to say. In fact, it's as if the trap has been laid, and I'll probably step right into it, for refuting anything she writes only confirms what she writes about stereotypical evangelicals. Inherent in her style is an argument that is almost impossible to refute, for she speaks out of both sides of her mouth when using her postmodern hermeneutic on God's word and world.

Nonetheless I'll say what I feel led to say: 

Following her train of thought will lead a Christian down a path that forsakes the inerrancy, authority and sufficiency of Scripture. On this train also rides those who don't truly believe, deep down, that the Holy Spirit is working in evangelical churches, which are part of Christ's body, today. In her view, it seems as if most (or all) authority in America's church is really a fabricated, man-made, and hopelessly corrupt system. Therefore we can't trust these pastors or church leaders, we can only trust ourselves.

The subtle denial of Scripture's inspiration and its implications, embracing and nurturing doubts of Scripture's authority, and lowering the Bible to the status of just another classic novel or good moral book is an age-old practice. What I see that may be new with Evans is that she blurs the line between higher and lower textual criticism, but at the core embraces a higher criticism and doesn't view Scripture as authoritative. This leaves one with a powerless social gospel, devoid of the Holy Spirit and the power of regeneration and sanctification and glorification. Jesus didn't die and physically raise from the dead in order to save us from the penalty of our sins; He just physically rose and we don't know what for.

But I see that God's Spirit is working. Yes, even in silly ol' 'Murica. And a vast majority of the Scriptures are really easy to understand and are much harder to twist than people say it is. In fact, the Bible through and through has some pretty nasty things to say to those who choose to reject God's word. It has some doubly nasty foretellings for those who lead God's children away from the gospel as well. There actually are God-given categories of thought for fear and trembling, and for God's authoritative judgment. He is our Creator.

We should fear to flout what God says in his word. We should fear his judgement for tampering with a Christian's one reliable source of eternal truth. We should also fear that we are trampling on the blood of Christ poured out for us, going back on what we had received; adoption into God's family, wholly undeserved; the inheritance of God's kingdom; the sure promises of God; an essential place to serve in the body of Christ; the gospel of peace on our feet, powerful to save and free to all; the child-like trust in God alone for reconciliation with him! We cannot throw these eternal benefits away to have our ears itched, our doubts confirmed and to feel better about not fitting a temporal man-made mold of the nuclear family! What do we get if we gain the whole world and yet lose our souls?

Dear friends, if you are a fan of RHE I make no claim to know where your heart or hers is when it comes to the Christian faith. I'm only saying what I see in what she writes. I think one should be very cautious to lock themselves into a way of thinking proselytized by a person whose fame has flourished on a platform of creating a vacuum of belief, of denying old ways, and pulling out and tossing aside foundation stones.

I also don't think that questioning things is wrong. The right or wrong is in the answer you settle on. And the standard of right and wrong belongs to God, not people.

Lastly I think this all just boils down to who you put your faith in and how you perceive the role of postmodern thought in biblical interpretation or the illumination of Scripture. If red flags don't come up in your mind when someone makes weighty claims that question millenia-old teachings of Christianity, then I fear for you.

Butterfield's book, homosexuality, etc.

I haven't written in a while! I think it's been 11 days, which is a record. I'm sure the internet missed another person's opinions.... anyway...

I've been taking this time to let Rosaria Champagne Butterfield's testimonial book just sink into my soul. Like I said, I'm in the process of reading 3 different books giving autobiographical testimony of conversions, all of which come from some sort of sexual brokenness. This is in an effort to understand where people come from to Christ, and how better to relate to them, befriend them and love them.

And Carson starts fussing now... this is the other reason why writing blog posts is hard! Having a crazy, adventurous toddler! That being said, I don't really have time to write any kind of comprehensive review of her book. I'm glad that's not my job. So I want to write about how her book changed my life!

Rosaria went from being a feminist, lesbian English professor studying Queer Theory in New York to being now a wife, pastor's wife and adoptive parent. She describes her conversion as a trainwreck, traumatizing and just really hard! She says that as she read through the Bible to refute it, and met with her new friend, a Reformed Presbyterian minister, the Word of God got bigger in her than herself. She had a lot of ups and downs along the way, but I'll save those for your own reading.

Two things powerfully struck my in the beginning of reading this book. 1) Her critiques of American evangelicals, and 2) the role of pastor Ken Smith as a friend and advocate in her search through the Bible (before she left her lesbian lifestyle).

1) When I first read her critiques of evangelicals I was offended. I felt my face get hot as I read it. I didn't like reading all the things that people like me are doing wrong toward the gay community. I knew she was right though! When I read through this part of the book a second time, having read the story of her conversion, it was easier to read. 

Examples:

"Here is one of the deepest way Christians scared me: the lesbian community was home and home felt safe and secure; the people that I knew the best and cared about were in that community; and finally, the lesbian community was accepting and welcoming while the Christian community appeared (and too often is) exclusive, judgmental, scornful and afraid of diversity..." pg 5 (italics mine).

"[Christians] appeared to use the Bible... in order to bring the Bible into a conversation to stop the conversation, not deepen it" pg 4.

"I'm grateful that the Lord brought me to a church that was as strong on teaching as it is on compassion... My lesbian friends had to learn that not all Christians are bigots. My Christian friends had to learn that Christians have a lot to learn from gay and lesbian folks about mercy work... I didn't know how to bridge the two groups..." pgs 23-24.

Here is a long one, but this one powerfully struck me:

"Shortly after becoming a Christian, I counseled a woman who was in a closeted lesbian relationship and a member of a Bible-believing church. No one in her church knew. Therefore, no one in her church was praying for her. Therefore, she sought and received no counsel. There was no "bearing one with the other" for her. No confession. No repentance. No healing. No joy in Christ. Just isolation. And shame. And pretense. Someone had sold her the pack of lies that said that God can heal your lying tongue or your broken heart, even cure your cancer if he chooses, but he can't transform your sexuality... She said: 'Rosaria, if people in my church really believed that gay people could be transformed by Christ, they wouldn't talk about us and pray about us in the hateful way that they do.'

"Christian reader, is this what people say about you when they hear you talk and pray? Do your prayers rise no higher than your prejudice? 

"I think that churches would be places of greater intimacy and growth in Christ if people stopped lying about what we need, what we fear, where we fail, and how we sin... And I suspect that instead of seeking counsel and direction from those stronger in the Lord, we retreat into our isolation and shame and let the sin wash over us, defeating us again" pg. 25.

Wow. 

2) The friendship that this Reformed Presbyterian minister and his wife, Ken and Floy, formed with this nonChristian, Christian-hating lesbian activist was truly loving and authentic. And to be loving and authentic he did not have to approve of the homosexual lifestyle. But he did have to go against what most Christians do today, which is to separate themselves from close friendship with anyone in the LGBT community. 

There were some notable components of their friendship... the fact that he didn't just invite her to church and quote a ton of Scriptures at her, that they didn't treat her like a project, scapegoat, blank slate for them to write on, or example of warning to Christians. He didn't humiliate her. He didn't just talk about sexual issues all the time. It seems like to me they talked mostly about the Bible and Jesus and Christianity. Mainly because she was writing something against the Christian Right and needed to study the Smiths. 

She says, 

"Before I ever set foot in a church, I spent two years meeting with Ken and Floy and on and off "studying" scripture and my heart. If Ken and Floy had invited me to church at that first meal I would have careened like a skateboard on a cliff, and would have never come back. Ken, of course, knows the power of the word preached but it seemed to me he also knew at that time that I couldn't come to church - it would have been too threatening, too weird, too much. So, Ken was willing to bring the church to me. This gave me the room and the safety that I need to match Ken and Floy's vulnerability and transparency. And so I opened up to them. I let them know who I was and what I valued. I invited them into my home and into my world. They met my friends, came to my dinner parties, saw me function in my real life. They made themselves safe enough for me to do this" pgs 11-12.

After I read the whole book, one big theme concerning sin and repentance struck me: the true cost of the Christian life in denying oneself and taking up one's cross. In Rosaria's life this can be summed in this sentence: "One doesn't repent for a sin of identity in one session" pg 23. 

We all have to repent of our identities and give our whole selves to Him. We all are depraved and lost without him. And as Christians we should see ourselves on an equal plain with the rest of the condemned, non-believing world, were it not for Christ in us. 

I came away from this book wanting to make more non-believing friends and friends from the gay community. I hate that they have a hard time and many times don't have anyone to share the truth about Christ's love and sacrifice to them. 

I know that Rosaria's case is unique - she sought out this pastor after receiving a letter in response to an article she wrote. He sought her out too, but she had to initiate. She had to study the bible for herself, and she did so because of her academic goals, not because the pastor told her to. Ultimately, it was God who saved Rosaria. He only used the Smiths for a time. I pray that more Christians can do that, especially with what's going on in the U.S. today. I think next week there is some legislation on gay marriage that's getting voted on. Instead of hating the gay community and seeing them as the enemy, we should remember that our battle is not with flesh and blood, but evil spirits and Satan himself.

Perseverance

Paul's letter to the church in Corinth, a part of chapter 3:

For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. ¹² If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, ¹³ their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. ¹⁴ If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. ¹⁵ If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.

 For most of my Christian life (which started this month in 2001!) I've been surrounded by a large group of like-minded believers, but now I'm in a phase where all of that is being "revealed with fire". It's been kind of hard to see people getting confused about who Jesus is, or what authority they are willing to give (or not give) to the Bible in their lives, or wanting to be more like the culture than anything else, etc. when just years earlier, we had been worshiping Christ in the same throng, raising our hands in praise or talking about Jesus together in a Bible study, or serving together in some sort of ministry.

God's word is clear that this kind of apostasy happens. He says that there are four kinds of ways that seeds grow. They are either snatched up before they get into the soil (Satan takes away God's word), they make shallow root and dry up in the sun (they receive God's word, but forsake it when testing or adversity comes), they grow but are choked up by thorns (love of the world takes precedence) or they grow and yield tons of fruit (a healthy growing Christian). I guess some of these things are happening to these people I've known. Instead of letting their betrayal discourage me or make me doubt if I'm doing the right thing, I need to keep seeking God. I've been trying to do that.

The hard part is, lately it just seems like the betrayal of faith is increasing, or just all being shown to me at once. Or maybe it's just that people who leave Christ can easily boast about what they do, whereas Christian "boasts" sound so self-righteous. So many people aren't sure what they believe anymore, or don't know Jesus or want to have anything to do with him, and some are people that I love dearly!!! I won't give up on my faith in Christ. 

More than ever, I know that my faith does not depend on any other person or family member or preacher or establishment (even my husband, though he believes in Jesus). People love to blame Christians and their establishments for horrible things, but God is above all reproach. Let them try and accuse him of wrong, but he will only laugh at them.

Someday all will be revealed and all will be made right. But for now I wait for
"the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ" Titus 2:13. And I walk by faith, not by sight.

3 books of redemption stories

Hello! I am starting to read 3 different books that are written by Christians testifying of how they came to know Christ.

Interestingly, all three authors came from a background of sexual brokenness or abuse. I guess I have a hunger to understand better what it's like to be in and come out of that.

The books are:

Undaunted: one man's real-life journey from unspeakable memories to unbelievable grace... By Josh McDowell with Cristobal Krusen. (Tyndale, 2012)

Out of a Far Country: a gay son's journey to God, a broken mother's search for hope by Christopher Yuan and Angela Yuan. (Colorado Springs: WaterBrook Press, 2011)

And (I haven't gotten this one in the mail yet)
The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield.

I'm super excited to read these and might write some stuff here about them! Also, I heard about these people and their books through radio interviews, and Christopher Yuan is a professor at my alma mater.

Lastly, though I frequently read and listen to things that are nonChristian, there can be only edification in reading books by Christians about the things of Christ. I don't live in a bubble, but I do long for the better things. Just a thought.

Profound quote on Christian persuasiveness

This morning I was reading a blog by Peter Leithart reporting on a debate between Douglas Wilson and Paul Sullivan on gay marriage. We Christians pretty much 'lose' all debates in this arena. And concerning that the author writes,

"In the end, these dilemmas may not matter. Perhaps Christians are called to do no more than speak the truth without worrying about persuasiveness. Perhaps we have entered a phase in which God has closed ears, so that whatever we say sounds like so much gibberish. We can depend on the Spirit to give ears as He pleases."

True that.

Controversial Questions

source: sbts.edu/women/seminary-wives-institute/

Well I've sure been a slacker when it comes to SWI. It's a great resource for the ladies not in seminary around here, and I'd been taking only electives and not core classes for... ahem... 5 years now! lol. I can't believe it's been 5 years. In 5 years I have taken 6 electives, 2 required, and a combined total of 2 years off. Of course they aren't super strict with it. I've never been told: "You have to take this course or we'll kick you out!"

It was honestly hard to get into SWI because I had just finished getting a B.A. in Bible at Moody when we moved here 5 years ago. It wasn't so much that I had nothing new to learn, but that I was a bit burnt out from intense theological studies and paper writing and reading and wanted to relax and take more directly applicable classes. 

My favorite so far has been Nuts and Bolts of Local Church Ministry, which taught all new material for me and required us to read Liberating Ministry from the Success Syndrome by Hughes. I can't say enough good things about that book or that class. But especially the book - all the things that people get disillusioned with when it comes to church, all the obstacles a man like my husband faces in his ministry career... it all has it's cure in the Scriptural principles that Liberating puts forth. "Success is serving... success is praying... success is loving... success is faithfulness... success is prayer... success is attitude... success is holiness..." Those are the chapter headings. It sounds cheesy but when you get into the book, it makes perfect sense. 

Anyhoo, I was going to talk about the current SWI course that I'm signed up for. It's called Controversial Questions. It deals with creation and evolution, government and law, sexuality and gender (uh-oh...), family and children, medicine and bioethics, and doctrine and Scripture. 

If anyone reading my blogs in the past hasn't noticed, I kind of have a thing for controversies. It bothers me that all kinds or people, even people with less education than me in these areas, will proclaim their opinions and rants on the internet and get a lot of agreement, not because they are saying anything true, but because they are mad or hurt and are saying what peoples' itching ears want to hear. It's especially hard when I see people my age, who I've known from church or bible college, denying what they used to hold to for the sake of having their itching ears relieved for a time.

Not only do these things bother me, but my own questions and disillusioning experiences and doubts are what drive me to seek answers. When someone seeks answers to their questions with a heart that believes their God is good, a heart that is willing to feel hurt and be healed, those answers are easy to find. Hard to apply. God gives wisdom to those who ask. But when someone seeks answers that satisfy their desire for revenge or to cast blame, including on God, or answers that justify the things they do that are not pleasing to God, they'll find the fake answers. 

I don't profess tons of knowledge gained in experience in these areas, but I have enough experience of churches to know that you can never go to a church expecting a utopia. The only utopia that will exist on earth is when Jesus returns. But when utopia-seekers join a church and become disillusioned, they blame it on their local church or denomination. They leave. They cast judgments and use their bitterness as fuel for snide remarks. This reaction is just wrong.

What is stopping me from joining this online discussion and providing another perspective? Again, many people I read don't have any more educational experience than I do, especially in Biblical studies. Maybe someday I'll jump in an be an orthodox voice in the debates. The holdback is the drama. Sigh, the drama. The ad hominem and the name-calling. The slippery slopes and the straw men. If I jump in, I may never come out alive!

My encounter with the nasty passage of Genesis 34

For years now I have really loved the book of Genesis. I love the narrative, the snapshots into ancient culture and customs, and how God revealed himself so plainly...

But today I hit a bump in the road. It's been over 8 years since I've really studied this, and since then I've usually swerved around this bump in the road, but there is a time to face your doubt head-on and deal with it! Gen. 34 is just nasty. The whole situation and every player in it is just nasty. The nastiest thing is what Jacob's two sons did. Cruel, heartless, mass-killing! 

And the voice in my head, a voice I am convinced was nurtured by all the anti-belief trends I marinated in while growing up in the Seattle area, the voice that dominated my being until I met Christ at 14... this voice questioned, "What kind of 'good' faith would have patriarchs like these? " or, "How can the Bible be God's Word with such horrific acts?" or, "How can God approve of this?"

These questions have heavy presumptions. The core presumption being that everything set forth in biblical narratives, including the choices of key people, is (or should be) approved by God and is considered holy even today. That patriarchs were perfect, holy people and should be our example. 

Psh! 

This is why it's important to get education in the Bible. This is why it's important for pastors to explain the whole Scriptures to their congregants. I'm so blessed to have gone to one of the best Bible colleges around, Moody Bible Institute. But again, I hadn't gone in-depth into a study of Genesis for 8 years now!

Luckily we still have our textbooks, plus more from David's seminary classes. I'd been reading a few things on Genesis (like commentaries and Bible encyclopedias) but the best thing I read on this has been James Montgomery Boice's commentary Genesis: An Expositional Commentary, Vol. 2 (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1998.)

Boice's chapter (117) on Genesis 34 is entitled, "A Shameful Incident". The first thing he points out is that many influential commentators have not dealt with the passage, by either skipping it completely, telling readers to figure it out on their own, or sometimes even telling pastors there is no valuable lesson to preach from the passage (p. 829). Boice insists that there is, especially in the area of how not to live!

But the main encounter I want to focus on with Gen. 34 is bibliology (doctrine of the Bible) and even the inerrancy of Scripture, not so much the Christian life. The latter is a cake walk in this case...

Anyhoo, Boice says, 

"Whenever the Bible contains material that reflects so badly not merely upon the sins of humanity in general but also upon the particular wickedness in the hearts and lives of God's people, this is evidence of the divine and not merely the human origin of the Scriptures... Human writers would have suppressed these events, just as commentators sometimes seem compelled to suppress them today... As we study this chapter we find the words of 2 Timothy 3:16-17 to be true; "All Scripture is [indeed] God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man" [i.e. person] "of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work" (pp. 829-830).

If you were transcribing the ancient scrolls, would you not want to leave out Genesis 34? I would. Yet the Jews have included it in the Torah from the beginning (829). Our natural shame wants us to suppress things like this.

That's the point of the passage! We should be horrified by what we read. It was wrong. 

Moreover this passage touches on the roots of the Good News: Man cannot save himself. All other religions/spiritualities involve man reaching out to the divine somehow, but Christianity is God reaching down to man. The Good News is that all have sinned, that the wages of sin is death, and that the gift of eternal life is for all who believe in Jesus Christ alone for their salvation, not their own imperfect and perpetually tainted good works. (Romans 3:23, 6:23-24, Ephesians 2:8-9, Ephesians 1) 

Look at this pretty graph I made!

I first learned this from my youth pastor, and then learned all the amazing details from the Bible

Even before Christ, God told the Israelites that he chose them not because they were better than all the other nations around them, but because of his own goodness and sovereign plan (>>>Deuteronomy 7:6-9). And it is clear that regardless of all the stupid things God's people have ever done (like the Crusades, etc) God will still work out His plan. People will still believe in Jesus Christ. 

God's love is relentless. There's nothing we can do to stop Christ from doing his work on earth. People saying that Judaism or Christianity is false or the Bible is false can't stop it either. And pointing out Gen 34 as a reason to reject God is only an excuse masking deeper, tougher issues. 

Of course God hates what Simeon and Levi did. Their shame is our warning and our reminder that we are all capable of such evils, and such evils are in all our natures, and that God is the only one who can save us from ourselves and from His wrath against evil.

I heart Moody Radio

My days are filled with repetitive housework, kid-loving and cooking. Instead of listening to my thoughts, spending more time online or watching netflix, I recently made the choice to use my Moody Radio app. 

It really improved my thought life and overall moods of the day to be listening to bible verses, good preaching, informative interviews, etc. They even have a station that is all sermons. Spending most of the day without other people around except Goo can get a little quiet, and I've not always filled the vacuum with the best things, but I think the radio station of my alma mater is the best choice yet :)