Blogging took a back burner...

Like any wife and mom, I can always say that my life is "crazy". But these past two or so weeks were extra-super-crazy! One crisis after another! When it rains, it pours. 

First, our basement flooded. It was like a nightmare that came to life! Praise God for our church family, some of whom came at midnight that saturday to help us pull up carpet, vac up water, move furniture and tear our wet padding! It was us vs. gushing water! It was a furious race! It was just nuts! 

After we ripped out drywall to minimize damage - rental fans blowing most of the week

This is where the pipe burst - a former spigot that was POORLY capped off! imagine a spigot running INSIDE your wall.

Water seeped through the walls into the 3rd bedroom

The brick on the other side of the leak, where the spigot used to be, was still wet after a day or two! no rain had come either...

nasty

So anyhoo we just had an adventure, and it took a lot of time on the phone to talk to insurance people and get restoration companies to come out with estimates. Since we want to do as much as we can on our own, it's gonna take longer than if we just paid someone to do every little thing. So besides using the washer and dryer, maybe the toilet, and jumping over boxes to get to the pantry, we don't use our family room or third bedroom anymore :(

At this point I can say that I miss renting, but only a little.

All three of us also got colds. Other kinds of crises occurred around the same time too, and it's been an emotionally and physically exhausting week! 

I don't really need any pity though. We are truly blessed in every way. We live in a time and place of abundance and things like this are easily taken care of! I can't imagine living in a time and place where there would be no money and help to do this. I guess people such a time and place have more handyman skills by necessity though...

 Right now David's parents are here for the weekend, and we've had a good time relaxing and laughing with them. Today, trying to squeeze David, Glenn and Carson in his massive car seat all in the back seat of our tiny Kia Rio was pretty funny. What's also laughable is that it took the five of us 2 hours to obtain lunch - between getting ready, trying to all fit in our car and figuring out where to eat! Though my "hanger" at the time made it not funny to me right then.

In conclusion however, just to be completely honest... My heart has just been really laid bare this week (not just cuz of the stupid basement). Who is my hope? Where is my trust? Do I try to blend in with the culture around me to find truth, or do I turn to God for it? Do I live to make sure people think I'm "legit" or do I live for God regardless of what people think of me, especially those who are cynical and predisposed to not like me? Do I hunger for the light of God? Do I "hate" my brother or sister in Christ (as mentioned in 1 Jn)? Am I doing what I should be doing right now, or am I just being selfish with my time, neglecting my family? 

It's a hard battle sometimes, working through all this. I feel constantly at war between pleasing man and pleasing God. It's like Paul's thorn in the flesh. It's a sin struggle that I feel like I will never overcome. It makes me weak as a Christian... so worried about what others could possibly think about me, and so caught up in their glory rather than God's glory. 

This is one of the things I absolutely despise about my age-group (the millenials) right now: we are taking worship to a whole new level. Worship of ourselves, of our things, of our food, of our significant other... It's not "cool" to worship God, no. It's trite, self-righteous and narrow-minded to praise God publicly, especially face-to-face. It can shock some people, to actually say "praise Jesus" in normal conversation... I mean, people who call themselves Christians. 

Yet this is where my heart truly is. I want to let my light shine and let people see Jesus in me. But I know I've failed at that time and again. I'm sorry to people I've known who haven't seen this side of me like they should. I hide it for fear of their opinion of me. I pray that God continues to free me from my fear of man so that I can praise Him freely, no matter what the cost.