Carson's 10 month summary photo

Well, it's only been a month, but a lot can happen in a month. :) Plus, I'd like to get a hang of this photoshop thing. I tried to pick new things he loves, and he finds new things every day! The funny thing about this picture is that he is folding the kitchen rug over his knee. oh well :)

Reading "Quiet" as an Extrovert, #2

I finished the first part of the book today, which is actually the longest part. The whole point of part 1 is to introduce how American culture has idealized being extroverted to its detriment, and that the ideal cultural function would really be a balance between the two.

I enjoyed the introduction, and by Susan Cain's informal standards, I may not be 100% extrovert. I love solitude, and I do prefer to be a lone to think a lot. More on that later.

I also notice that Cain is very proud of being an introvert. I understand that she writes as an introvert herself and probably doesn't see anything wrong with her pride, but as she describes the stupidity of extroversion's harmful dominance of our society in chapter one, I get the impression that she thinks extroversion is the big evil in the U.S. today. I could be wrong about that, so don't quote me.

On a positive note, I really enjoyed her insights in the Intro and first chapter. It helps to understand introversion as in a person's nature and a part of God's beautiful design. I agree that our culture needs introverts.

Chapter two takes stock of today's leaders, drawing on the history of the rise of extroversion in chapter one. Her description of Harvard Business School, for example, really scared me.

Among the myriad of research and studies she discusses, she brings out a point that introverts leading extroverts are more effective than extroverts leading introverts though a couple of studies. "...it makes sense that introverts are uniquely good at leading initiative-takers" (57). I've found this so true in my own life! As in, I love following the lead of someone who is quiet, vs. cowering under a domineering, yelling person. Who doesn't?

But along with this example, Cain makes one point that I think blurs the line between the definition of "extrovert" and "proud". She says, "Extroverts, on the other hand, can be so intent on putting their own stamp on events that they risk losing others' good ideas along the way and allowing workers to lapse into passivity." I see that this statement is softened with "can" versus "do [put their stamp on events]", and that she says two sentences later that extroverts are better at getting results than introverts. But on the same token, I notice this tendency in the first 50-odd pages, that I hope doesn't continue: that is, making pride and extroversion partners, and humility and introversion partners. Repetitively she describes obnoxious extroverts, shallow extroverts, and selfish extroverts.

In my view, extroversion is not equivalent to obnoxiousness, superficiality or selfishness. It's a Venn diagram. I struggle with selfishness not because I am an extrovert but because I am a human with a sin nature, like 100% of humans.

On the same token, I have found myself being obnoxious, saying things I regret, and being selfish. I do wish I was more introverted at times, and I admire introverted qualities in my friends and family a lot! I just hope they don't only see me or all extroverts as obnoxious and selfish. Of course, taking time to dwell on the faults of those around you can make you pretty proud, whether or not you are introverted or extroverted.

I look forward to reading the rest of the book as time allows, and am glad that the entire book is not only critique.

One more thing... Susan Cain and I don't share many similar views on human nature and creation, so I'll be more skeptical than the average reader. I will be pointing out flaws, but I suppose I'm allowed to do that on my blog. :)

Reading "Quiet" as an Extrovert

My dear friend Elsbeth recently recommended that I read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. I picked it up from the library today and have already made headway into chapter one. But before I read it I want to write down some thoughts, and see if they change by what this lady writes.

I married an introvert and my close friends are all introverts. My mom is an introvert. But I'm an extrovert.

Sometimes there are struggles as someone who is as expressive, vocal and confrontational as me to be friends or in family with people who are more quiet and thoughtful. The first struggle is that I feel stupid a lot. Sometimes it's hard not to say some of the first things that come into my brain. It's nice to write on the internet and have a filter there, so it makes me less stupid sounding. :) With my introverted husband (he pretends to be extroverted outside the home) I apologize a lot. Most of the time, he listens and I talk. He is very thoughtful and processes life non-verbally. I, on the other hand, verbally process most things.

The feeling of stupidity is so strong that I don't quite resound with the books first premise: that extroversion is held in high esteem in our society. Not in my little society! (And, not for at least a third of Americans, according to Cain) Many times I feel like the people I know have to bear with me.

I recently re-read my favorite novel, Pride and Prejudice, and noticed that Mrs. Bennet, along with being pretty shallow, is an extrovert and is thought foolish for showing "violent" emotion and having "effusions" of joy or lots of "nervous complaints". She is a huge extrovert, and the protagonist Lizzy is an introvert - I think. Yet Lizzy is smart, and her mom and younger sister Lydia, the extroverts, are stupid. Great, now I feel stupid even reading my favorite novel!

The second struggle is a feeling of imbalance in relationships. As an extrovert I initiate a lot of things with my friends, or at least I have more in the past. When they don't initiate as much, or barely at all, in return, it begins to give me the impression that they don't like me as much, or that they only see me out of obligation because I seem needy to them. It has actually been painful at times. In my marriage I share a lot of my feelings and thoughts on a daily basis. My husband on the other hand, when asked how he "feels" about something, he needs time to think about it.

Thirdly, as a stay-at-home Mom I get a little antsy if it's just me and my son all day. The struggle is that my husband has the personality for my job and I have the personality for his jobs!

The main reason I want to read and learn from this book is for my marriage. Also, I'd like to wade through these struggles and deal with the hurt feelings I have been experiencing for years now. Maybe my introverted family and friends will have input on my reflections on this book, or will want to read it themselves.

I don't know if this lady is a believer in Christ, so I will be taking things that she writes with a grain of salt. One big hunkin' grain of salt is that with pop psychology, the "victim" mentality is huge. As a Christian, I see myself in life's circumstances as both victim and victimize-r. It's only fair.

In fact, as an extrovert I tend to feel more the latter than the former. It's harder being an extrovert than our culture makes it out to be!

Homosexuality and the Bible - Not in my words :)

Here is a great response to some recent dialogue on homosexuality and the Bible by an influential and strong Christian man, a professor at the Bible college I attended. He also has a history of homosexual activity and has HIV. Because he was a professor while I was in college, I came to know him and personally benefited from his advice about my interactions with a lesbian co-worker a couple years ago. He told me that the most important thing to discuss with this girl is not her sexuality, but the Gospel.

This guy puts it better than me, but I wanted to share it to spread what God's Word really has to say about this important and tense issue.

Also, I just want to say, that I do love my gay friends. I don't hate them.

God's plans for us

This is a picture of our old apartment in May when we put the primer on right before giving the manager the keys. Yesterday I listened to a sermon by Tony Evans on Moody Radio that began with talking about hopelessness and described the hope that we have in God.

I've always loved the context of this verse, because God said this to the Israelites while they were in the midst of punishment for their rejection of God. I think this is one of those verses where it almost can't be taken out of context. Well, when it's in the context of belief in the one true God...

I'd like to continue editing photos like this, so bear with me as I learn! It's pretty fun.

Carson's 9 month summary photo

This was inspired by 52home :)  http://www.girltalkhome.com/52home/P15/ picture taken by my mom, Kay Dees.

My Experience with Cloth Diapering

My son in a cloth diaper at 2 weeks old, in a milk coma :)

This is a post about one of the 'weird' things that I do with my kid! Cloth diapering isn't for everyone, but if you are considering doing cloth diapering maybe I can help by posting some things about it here. I'm not super into being organic and natural childbirth and all that, I just did cloth mainly for the savings. But as I have done them, I have noticed that cloth diapers really are friendlier to a baby's butt (Carson's pretty much never had a rash). And if you think about how disposables are piling up in landfills, never to decompose, it can be pretty depressing.

Alls you need to do this is to be willing to do a little more laundry, and spray off your baby's poop into the toilet instead of throwing it away. You also need to be willing to save TONS of money.

I like to use Bumgenius One Size 4.0 pocket diapers (see cottonbabies.com). A diaper consists of a shell (comes in many colors!) and an insert (or two) to absorb stuff. I have 24 diapers and have used them for the 9 months of my son's life with no problem (except one snap that fell out, but it wasn't essential). I do a load of diapers (anywhere from 8 to 15 diapers) about every 1 to 2 days, as the brand that I use requires a wash within 48 hrs of becoming dirty. I absolutely HATE the small of urine, so prefolds (traditional cloth diapers), which can go more than 48 hrs without a wash, aren't really for me. Though unlike my kind of diapers, most prefolds can be pre-soaked (I think), which is great. Prefolds are also cheaper, and the ones I use are about $18 or $19 a piece (unless you buy in bulk).

Anyhoo, here is my washing routine: If a diaper is wet I put it directly in the pail. I store the diapers in the sealed plastic pail and remove the insert from the shell right after I change them, so I don't have to touch them later. When he poops, I dump the poop in the toilet (now that he's on table food) and spray off all remains into the toilet with the Bumgenius diaper shower (essential). To wash, I just open the pail when it's full and dump it directly into the washer. I scrub the entire pail and lid every time I wash a load of diapers. For the diapers, I do a cold cycle with detergent (All Free and Clear) (edit 1/2/13: All FC should be military version, not regular version. I changed to Charlie's Soap and turned on our water softener) and a rinse. I then do a warm cycle with detergent and two rinses. Then I do 1 to 2 more rinses. All the rinses are to ensure that the pee and other stuff is completely gone. This also ensures that the detergent is out, which allows for maximum absorbency. Then, I put the inserts and cloth wipes (another money saver :) ) into the dryer, and the shells I put on a drying rack. They are usually dry within half a day. Thus, a load of diapers takes about 8-12 hours at the most to go from dirty to clean and ready to wear. They smell perfectly clean. If a stain remains, I put the insert wet in the sun and it is gone within 3 hrs. Usually though, with that much rinsing and washing, no stains remain :)

It may be a lot of work, but don't worry, there's always help!

What I LOVE about the brand I use is the liner between the insert and the baby's butt. Carson has had only ONE almost-rash in 9 months of using these. The wetness is taken away from him. Carson's lack of diaper rash could also be the fact that I change him pretty often. And that's another great thing about cloth diapering. It doesn't matter how often you change them, because it won't cost you any more money! yay! You may wash a load a few hours sooner than you otherwise would, but since you signed up for it in doing cloth diapers, that's no big deal.

We invested $400 initially but have only had to buy 3 or 4 small packs of disposable diapers for trips to see family, etc. So while the initial cost of cloth diapering can be a lot, it's a great thing to do if you have a baby registry for your first child or something. I had a registry at everythingbirth.com for cloth diapers and accessories.

diaper pail I use. nifty, with a "lock" too.

Speaking of accessories... A lot of people do wetbags instead of pails for their diapers. I decided to go with a pail because again, I thought before I had Carson that a solid pail would keep out the odor better. I don't know if this is true, but I found a "nappy" pail that came with a mesh bag that was made by Bambino Mio. The mesh bags could be washed with the diapers, but the elastic in them fell apart and I eventually just ditched them and put them straight in the pail. For outings, I keep the diaper bag stocked with grocery bags.

this attaches to our toilet and sprays the poop for us. Thus, I don't touch his poop much! PHEW

As mentioned above, an accessory I love is the diaper sprayer that Bumgenius makes. It attaches to your toilet water line and uses clean water to spray water at high pressure to get the poop off. Traditionally, you scrub it off by hand, but I wasn't really wanting to do that either. So the sprayer does it for me :)

I love these cloth wipes. 

Other accessories I use are cloth wipes. Thirsties have been the best brand of cloth wipes for me. The easiest method seemed to be having a spray bottle, spraying baby's butt with a solution, and wiping it off with the wipe. (Carson doesn't mind the spray, I guess he's used to it since it's all he's known) I then store wipes in the pail and wash them right a long with the diapers. I made my own solution of one part water, one part baby oil and one part baby shampoo. It smells great :)

So, diapers are dirty and stinky no matter how you do 'em, whether disposable or cloth. If you can stomach it, I'd say give cloth a try. It sure has saved us lots of money.

I also just recommended the brands I like and use, but there are dozens of brands of diapers, wipes, pails, wetbags, detergents, etc etc. and they are all AMAZING. There are cheaper brands than I used as well. We were given lots of money with our son (our firstborn), so we invested in the nicer stuff.

I've been doing this ever since I've been a mom, so I really don't notice it any more. It's really easy to function like this on a daily basis, believe it or not.